UFO

I've seen a lot of things fly in my lifetime. Planes. Frisbees. Fists. Today, I am proud to say that I can add "Maxi Pad" to this list. Yes friends, a Maxi Pad. At approximately 8:45 this morning, I was watching a group of ninth graders while the juniors took the Science PSSA. I was talking with one of my favorite students when I saw a white blur hurtling towards me. It landed at my feet, and it took me a few seconds to process exactly what the object was. It couldn't be a Maxi Pad, could it? It was. I was shocked by the way it sailed through the air. It must have flown ten or fifteen feet across the room, an impressive distance for such an object, I thought. Even more absurd was the fact that several students were unable to correctly name this disturbance. "That's a tampon," some of them said. When I told them that it was a Maxi Pad, one student responded "How do you know? Do you have a Vagina?" "How did you know I have one?" was my witty retort. I spent the next five minutes or so explaining to those who were interested the differences that exist between the tampon and the Maxi Pad. It was the most important teaching I did all day.

And I never did find out who threw it.