Anything You Can Do, Gingers Can Do Better.

Forgive me readers (aka Johnny, Stephanie, Lark, maybe Andy) for I have sinned. It has been ehh a few months since my last post. But better late then never, right?!

For a while now, I've noticed that the population of red haired persons in the United States has fallen victim to some persecution. They have been called evil, inferior, mutants, and even said to be their own race (rangas for all those Summer Heights High fans out there). Some appalling yet hilarious terms have also been coined to classify their condition and humiliate them including 'gingervitis' and the age old 'firecrotch.' As entertaining as this torment is, I have found that redheads, in fact, seem to have some superiority over the rest of us. Especially when it comes to female vocalists of the indie rock persuasion. (With the exception of Paramore chick and Ginger Spice). There is a definite trend with having ginger kid lead singers and being super cool musicians. These ladies really bring it. With vocals, lyrics, raw talent, and not to mention good looks. So here's a list-o-mania of a few of my favourite redheads.

8. Gerri Halliwell - Who can ever forget Ginger Spice? Ms. Halliwell definitely pushed the limits of what freckled faces could do and was a real trailblazer for her kind. Not only did she lead the Spice Girls to great success, but also spread 'Girl Power' to prepubescent girls everywhere in the mid-1990's (including moi).

7. Shirley Manson - So I'm not much of a Garbage fan, but I feel that a list of Gingers would not be complete without it's lead singer. Actually I think the only Garbage songs I know are "Only Happy When It Rains" and "I Think I'm Paranoid" because I probs played them in Rockband or some other form of learning fake instruments. At any rate, from what I understand, Shirley is quite the show-woman and is pretty sexay. Hey, anyone who's still rockin' at 43 is A-OK in my book.

6. Hayley Williams - It's an undeniable fact of life that Paramore is effing good. Admit it. You never turn them off when they come on the radio and you've seen all their live performance from MTV award shows... you're all like "that's whatchu get when you let your heaaart win. ooooh oh ooh oh!" She's spunky, adorable, and not to mention she's got red hair!

5. Kate Nash - With her first and only release, Made of Bricks, Ms. Nash blew my 18 year old mind. But since then, she's done nothing. WTF Kate! Despite this lull in activity, Katie-poo (I'm sure she'd hate this nickname) is quite the songstress. Weaving tales of lost/broken/angry love as well as ballads such as Dickhead. I somehow never tire of her obnoxious accent and ridic lyricos. Her hair is kind more auburn, but I'll take it.

4. Ingrid Michaelson - So Ingrid has been gaining some noteriety of late. Her vids appear regularly on VH1. But I still love her. Imma sucker for love songs and she writes em like a pro. Not to mention she has some of the wittiest stage banter I've ever heard and her live show will make you eargasm all over the place due to the overwhelming harmonies :) Her blog (entitled 'Bliggity Blog') is likewise delightful. Ingrid is really more of a strawberry blonde, but a ginger nonetheless!

3. Florence Welch - Although new to the scene, the lead singer of Florence and the Machine is no newb to being an awesome ginger kid. Her voice is the best I've heard in a while. Especially impressive coming from a girl who belts such great tunez at the tender age of 23. Johnny once made the statement that she's what you'd get if you fused #2 and #1 together. Surely the best is yet to come from Flo. Listen to Dog Days Are Over! You'll at least tap your foot!

2. Jenny Lewis - I actually had Jenny as numero uno, but realized that she's just the little sister of #1 (Johnny said that once). And the little sister is never number one. Except on Full House (the Olsen twins totes took the cake over DJ or Stephanie). But Jenny is undeniably an indie rock goddess. She's adorable. She's a former child star (appearing in, among other things, The Wizard with Fred Savage and Troop Beverly Hills). She is the lead singer of Rilo Kiley and a stand out solo act. She has a great haircut. She has a wardrobe to die for. She was in the Postal Service. Bottomline, she has red hair.

1. Neko Case - This former pornographer has lended her voice to various diff projects over the years, but my person choice is her solo work. The sounds that come out of this woman are unlike any other. Guaranteed to send chills down your spine. Even bring you to tears. Powerful, rustic, obvi unique, and at times overwhelming. She's the mother of all these other red haired ladies. Its like they're just ginger kids and she's their ginger mama. Some fav tracks include "I'm Am Animal" and "That Teenage Feeling." Gaaah. There's no use in describing. You must listen!

Well, that pretty much rounds up my take on Gingers. The only way I can see that they are mutants is that they have beautiful voices and great hairdos. That's all. k bye.

The Second Annual "Who The Hell Cares What John Thinks!" Music Review

Well another year has gone by and that means that for the second year running all y'all who care can read about what albums I really liked in 2009. It was a great year for music, so great that I had to expand my list to fifteen albums.

Before I start writing about the top 15 I'd like say a few words about No Line On The Horizon, the album U2 released this year. If you know me well, you know that U2 is the first real band I ever liked and that I'm still a pretty big fan today. I think that No Line is a pretty good album, one without a heavy-hitting jam like "Beautiful Day" or "Vertigo." This is why it didn't sell as well as other U2 albums.

I'd also like to state that I'm listening to Bibio's Ambivalence Avenue for the first time and think it's really good. It probably would have made this list had I first heard it earlier in the year.

OK, here goes:

15. The Very Best-Warm Heart of Africa
This album is a collaboration between a guy from Malawi and two British guys, and is to African music what the California Roll is to Sushi. Although that doesn't seem like a compliment, I still like it, especially "Warm Heart of Africa," which features Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend.

14. Atlas Sound-Logos
Bradford Cox is quickly becoming one of my favorite people in music. He seems like a real outsider, that weird guy who sits in his room all day and watches people. I must say that I can sort of relate. Anyway, "Walkabout," which features Noah Lennox, is a standout.

13. God Help The Girl-S/T
Stuart Murdoch is another one of my favorite people in music, and I'll lap up pretty much anything he puts out at this point. A straight up Belle and Sebastian album would have been better, but I can deal with this, especially when its version of "Funny Little Frog" is better than the original on The Life Pursuit.

12. The Antlers-Hospice
Whenever I listen to this I get the same feeling I get when I listen to In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. It's a really sad guy singing about someone who has died. And it doesn't hurt that the guy sings like Jeff Buckley.

11. The Pains of Being Pure At Heart-S/T
A really catchy, fuzzy pop album. All of their songs sort of sound the same, but you won't care because the lyrics are clever. My favorite is "Come Saturday."

10. Discovery-LP
Another catchy pop album, but more R&B-influenced. "Orange Shirt" is a freakin' banger. The only bad track is the muffled Jackson 5 cover.

09. Phoenix-Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The first two tracks alone are worth the price of admission. "1901" is probably my favorite song of the year.

08. Franz Ferdinand-Tonight: Franz Ferdinand
This is probably my favorite of their three albums. It's funkier compared to the other two, which were more guitar-driven. "Lucid Dreams" is a pretty cool foray into electro.

07. Girls-Album
Really good rock n' roll music. The songwriting is simple and heartfelt.

06. Florence And The Machine-Lungs
Every song has a massive singalong chorus. I can't even pick out a favorite track, all 13 are great.

05. Grizzly Bear-Veckatimest
This is more focused than their last album. They incorporate elements of doo-wop on "Two Weeks" and bluesy-sounding guitar on "While You Wait For The Others," my favorite track.

04. Camera Obscura-My Maudlin Career
What can I say, I'm a real sucker for orchestral pop music. It's easy stuff to wrap your finger around, and Tracyanne Campbell is gorgeous and writes great lyrics.

03. Passion Pit-Manners
This album is so much fun to sing along with because the guy has a really high voice. Melodrama at it's finest.

02. Animal Collective-Merriweather Post Pavillion and Fall Be Kind
This was the year I started to appreciate Animal Collective. Better late than never, no? Merriweather is just brilliant, especially "Brother Sport." And if the EP is any indication of where they're going, I'll keep being a fan.

01. Dirty Projectors-Bitte Orca
I listened to this twice in a row when I first got it. I never do that. It WAS the summer of 2009. Walking up and down the beach, listening to "Temecula Sunrise." Blasting "Useful Chamber" in my car with the windows open at sundown in the middle of July. Me and Lizzy throwing our hands up in the air while listening to "Stillness Is The Move." So many memories, and that's why it's number one.

That's all.

Love,
John

Soothsaying: The 2010 World Cup

So the greatest sporting event in the world is coming up in 187 days and the draw was announced today. The 2010 Cup will be held in South Africa, and this is a big deal because it's never been in Africa before. I'm predicting right now that the African squads smoke everyone, just like Korea smoked everyone in 2002 when the Cup was played on their turf. Two teams make it out of each group to the Round of 16. Here are my inevitably correct predictions:

Group A: 1. Mexico 2. South Africa 3. France 4. Uruguay

Mexico always does pretty well on the big stage. South Africa will make it because they're the home team and they have to make it. France barely qualified in the first place (they got away with a bunch of crap in a playoff against Ireland) and I think they'll suck like they did in '02. And who the hell is Uruguay?

Group B: 1. Greece 2. Nigeria 3. Argentina 4. South Korea

Greece is pretty high up in the FIFA rankings, so I'll pick them to finish first. Argentina should win every year but they don't because, um, I don't know. I've watched South Korea play a few times and they're not as good as they were a few years ago.

Group C: 1. USA 2. Algeria 3. England 4. Slovenia

OK, I'm a bit biased. But the USA looked so good in the Confederations Cup (played in S.A. this past summer) that I can't not pick them to finish first. I think England will come in overconfident after a laughably easy qualifying schedule.

Group D: 1. Ghana 2. Australia 3. Germany 4. Serbia

Germany ain't shit. Ghana destroyed in qualifying. Serbia will tie every match 0-0. And the Aussies are a bunch of rugged motherf-----s who will find a way to win.

Group E: 1. Netherlands 2. Cameroon 3. Denmark 4. Japan

The Dutch always make it through, and Cameroon has been steamrolling cats lately. Japan sucks and I can't believe they actually made it to the Cup.

Group F:
1. Italy 2. Paraguay 3. Slovakia 17. New Zealand

Dude, they're Italy. Paraguay looked good in qualifying. New Zealand is not even in the same league as these teams and only got in because they play countries like Fiji and American Samoa or some shit in qualifying.

Group G:
1. Brazil 2. Ivory Coast 3. Portugal 4. North Korea

Dude, they're Brazil. Drogba and the Ivory Coast will beat Portugal to get through. Cristiano Ronaldo will be out for that game with a vision problem after accidentally squirting a glob of hair gel into his eye.

Group H: 1. Chile 2. Switzerland 3. Spain 4. Honduras

I don't even know. Honduras isn't very good and the Spanish squad consists of male models.

I'm done thinking about soccer for now.

Four Reasons To See It: An Education

1. The main girl (Carey Mulligan) is freakin' adorable. She kind of looks like Jenny Lewis with the red hair and bangs and all. Interestingly enough, the character she plays is named Jenny.

2. The clothes worn by her character (and the rest of the cast for that matter) are fantastic. People dressed so much better back in the day.

3. The screenplay was written by Nick Hornby, the workingman's literary genius.

4. The movie actually tells us why going to school is important. Imagine that-a movie that poses a question and gives us an answer to said question! Every high school age punk I know should watch this just for that part.

Definitely worth your time.

Sports: Do They Mean Anything?

I've been a sports fan for as long as I can remember. I blame it on my dad, a man who once posed the question "If people don't watch sports, what do they do with their time?" Watch movies? Read books? Blog? In the last couple of years, I've gotten away from ESPN and have explored some of these other options. In the process, I started to dismiss sports as being juvenile and pointless. I'd go to games and think that a majority of the fans were acting like I did when I was ten. I'd take on this holier-than-thou attitude, thinking that people at the stadium were wasting their hard earned dollars on over processed food, singing and dancing along to horrible music, and being completely oblivious to how much of a money hungry, corporate machine sports is, from the salaries of the players and executives to the blatant advertising all over the venue.

In short, I was an elitist.

I went to a Pittsburgh Steelers game at Heinz Field with my dad this past Sunday, and I realized that love, wherever you can find it, is meaningful. 55,000 people dressed in Steeler black and gold were there, all for one reason-they love the Steelers. My eyes welled up with tears before the game as everyone was cheering after the national anthem and two fighter planes flew over making a huge sound, because, well, there was just so much love there. It didn't matter that the love was for a silly football team and a bunch of planes that wasted fuel and millions of taxpayer dollars. Instead I just thought about how great it was that people built this nice stadium with ketchup bottles on the scoreboard and that there are people who can fly those really fast planes without throwing up or crashing them.

I'm gonna try to find love everywhere.

Pure Euphoria: "Havin' My Baby"

"Havin' My Baby" by the Montreal band Think About Life my be the most instantly lovable song I've ever heard. It sounds like TV on the Radio if TV on the Radio made happy music with high-pitched vocal samples. I put it on for the first time last week and continue to play it at least three times a day. Even my mom likes it. No one had heard of this song until a week and a half ago when Pitchfork named it a Best New Track over FIVE months after it came out. Nice one guys. Better late than never I guess.

Seriously, listen to this shit: http://www.myspace.com/thinkaboutlife

The Feelies: Crazy Rhythms

I'd like to document this moment because I feel really good right now because I just walked around Ambler and listened to this album for the first time and it's really good so good that I was running around the deserted leaf-covered streets and the full moon was my friend following me around as I listened to this wonderful music and I want to save the world or even better learn how to play guitar and make something as good as Crazy Rhythms.

And I ate five fun size bags of M&Ms earlier.