"Buddy": Don't Call Me That!

If you're a guy you know what I mean. You'll be walking towards a guy you know and you'll say "What's up, man?" And he'll say "What's up, buddy?" And you'll cringe and your blood pressure will skyrocket and you'll want to rub his face in the pavement for calling you "buddy." It's really the most patronizing thing one man can say to another. You may as well say to me something like "I'm smarter than you, I can kick your ass, my penis is five inches longer than yours, and oh, did I mention I can kick your ass?" How about "dude" or "bro" or "cuz" or whatever just not "BUDDY!" It makes me want to Mike Tyson the shit out of people when they call me that. I am not your little brother. And I am certainly nobody's "buddy," ever.

Parents: They're Important

I've been thinking a lot about the importance of having responsible parents since I started teaching in Philly. I'll hear from kids that they get beat up by their stepdad or they get high with their mom and it's just heartbreaking. I find it impossible to blame these kids for their lack of success in school or in life in general because most of their parents are, to put it frankly, deadbeats. How can a fifteen year old be expected to take ownership of his/her future? When I was fifteen all I wanted to do was play Nintendo, and if it wasn't for my mother I would have. I hated school, and didn't see why it was important. My mom MADE me see why it was important, even if I wanted to remain blind. Without her encouragement, I never would have gotten my fancy diploma and nice job. Every kid needs a kick in the ass, whether they go to Germantown Academy or Simon Gratz. You can blame the lack of academic achievement in urban schools on poor funding or lousy teachers, but at the end of the day, it's the PARENTS who must engage in the difficult task of motivating their children to come to school and do well. It's their job and they're the only ones who can do it.

Thanks, Mom, for doing your job.

Edit, June 2011
I sound like a complete asshole in this post. There are so many factors at work here, and it's wrong to place all of the blame on the parents. I was just at my school's graduation and was overwhelmed by the parent turnout. Most of the parents love and want the best for their kids.

Sorry, parents.

And mom, you're still rad.

Tres Unique: tUnE-yArDs

Yeah yeah it came out last year. We get stuff late out here in the suburbs. Anyways, tUnE-yArDs is the name of a one-woman band. Merrill Garbus is the name of the woman. The album's called Bird-Brains and it is wonderfully weird. It's also wonderfully lo-fi, as she recorded the entire thing herself using presumably cheap equipment. Her sound is totally original. She strums the ukelele, lays down hip hop beats, samples a baby coughing, and howls like a wild animal, among other things. Great songwriting here, too. She pours out everything, no matter how fucked up it sounds. That's what I like the most about this album, actually-she's not afraid to express herself even though most of the people who listen to this album will think she's insane. I'm pretty sure that's what music's all about.

Not a Fan Fan: Man Man

I'm always up for going to a show, regardless of how well I know the band. In fact, I've found that I'll enjoy a show even more when I know nothing about the act. No expectations are good expectations, I suppose. With this thought in mind, I agreed to accompany my good pal Dave to the Trocadero last Friday to see Man Man, a band I was pretty unfamiliar with. I had only heard a few tracks by them before seeing them, and those were heard two or three years ago. I was able to recall a certain Tom Waits goofiness to their sound, and looked forward to seeing them live. This show in particular was going to be REALLY awesome, because they're a Philly band and it sold out and they haven't toured in a long time.

It wasn't that awesome, in my humble opinion. Man Man just didn't do it for me. Their musicianship WAS tremendous, with each member playing multiple instruments with much virtuosity, and their stage antics were entertaining. I just found their sound to be, well, not good. Each track seemed to take the same route: The drummer would start a very fast, pulsating drum beat, and the rest of the band would play along, creating a throbbing headache of sound. The crowd was an unusual mix of stylish hipsters, hoodied suburbanites, and the ever-present dreadlocked folk. Not to mention the diehard Man Man fans, all of whom were wearing plain white tees with warpaint on their faces. The members of Man Man also had warpaint on their faces. They should call themselves "Brand Brand." All corny jokes aside, it was very strange indeed to see representatives from all of these groups jumping around and pushing one another to this lousy music.

I'm not saying that Man Man are bad. They're just not for yours truly. If you're a fan of more soothing, orchestral sounds, you should probably stay away from this band.

Wonderful Stuff: Teen Dream

I never really liked Beach House until their new album, Teen Dream, dropped. They were too murky and moody for yours truly, plus they came off as a bunch of smug rich kids when I saw them open for the Walkmen back in December, 2008. This new one is undeniably good, however. It's full-bodied, and it sounds like they've reached their potential. The music is outstanding on every track, from the wailing guitar line on "Silver Soul" to the catchy drum beat on "Lover of Mine" to the achingly beautiful "Take Care." Gone are the days of Victoria Legrand singing like a bratty fifteen year old-she's a grown ass woman now. Beach House have hit a home run here, and they'll be hard pressed to make a better album than this.

Anything You Can Do, Gingers Can Do Better.

Forgive me readers (aka Johnny, Stephanie, Lark, maybe Andy) for I have sinned. It has been ehh a few months since my last post. But better late then never, right?!

For a while now, I've noticed that the population of red haired persons in the United States has fallen victim to some persecution. They have been called evil, inferior, mutants, and even said to be their own race (rangas for all those Summer Heights High fans out there). Some appalling yet hilarious terms have also been coined to classify their condition and humiliate them including 'gingervitis' and the age old 'firecrotch.' As entertaining as this torment is, I have found that redheads, in fact, seem to have some superiority over the rest of us. Especially when it comes to female vocalists of the indie rock persuasion. (With the exception of Paramore chick and Ginger Spice). There is a definite trend with having ginger kid lead singers and being super cool musicians. These ladies really bring it. With vocals, lyrics, raw talent, and not to mention good looks. So here's a list-o-mania of a few of my favourite redheads.

8. Gerri Halliwell - Who can ever forget Ginger Spice? Ms. Halliwell definitely pushed the limits of what freckled faces could do and was a real trailblazer for her kind. Not only did she lead the Spice Girls to great success, but also spread 'Girl Power' to prepubescent girls everywhere in the mid-1990's (including moi).

7. Shirley Manson - So I'm not much of a Garbage fan, but I feel that a list of Gingers would not be complete without it's lead singer. Actually I think the only Garbage songs I know are "Only Happy When It Rains" and "I Think I'm Paranoid" because I probs played them in Rockband or some other form of learning fake instruments. At any rate, from what I understand, Shirley is quite the show-woman and is pretty sexay. Hey, anyone who's still rockin' at 43 is A-OK in my book.

6. Hayley Williams - It's an undeniable fact of life that Paramore is effing good. Admit it. You never turn them off when they come on the radio and you've seen all their live performance from MTV award shows... you're all like "that's whatchu get when you let your heaaart win. ooooh oh ooh oh!" She's spunky, adorable, and not to mention she's got red hair!

5. Kate Nash - With her first and only release, Made of Bricks, Ms. Nash blew my 18 year old mind. But since then, she's done nothing. WTF Kate! Despite this lull in activity, Katie-poo (I'm sure she'd hate this nickname) is quite the songstress. Weaving tales of lost/broken/angry love as well as ballads such as Dickhead. I somehow never tire of her obnoxious accent and ridic lyricos. Her hair is kind more auburn, but I'll take it.

4. Ingrid Michaelson - So Ingrid has been gaining some noteriety of late. Her vids appear regularly on VH1. But I still love her. Imma sucker for love songs and she writes em like a pro. Not to mention she has some of the wittiest stage banter I've ever heard and her live show will make you eargasm all over the place due to the overwhelming harmonies :) Her blog (entitled 'Bliggity Blog') is likewise delightful. Ingrid is really more of a strawberry blonde, but a ginger nonetheless!

3. Florence Welch - Although new to the scene, the lead singer of Florence and the Machine is no newb to being an awesome ginger kid. Her voice is the best I've heard in a while. Especially impressive coming from a girl who belts such great tunez at the tender age of 23. Johnny once made the statement that she's what you'd get if you fused #2 and #1 together. Surely the best is yet to come from Flo. Listen to Dog Days Are Over! You'll at least tap your foot!

2. Jenny Lewis - I actually had Jenny as numero uno, but realized that she's just the little sister of #1 (Johnny said that once). And the little sister is never number one. Except on Full House (the Olsen twins totes took the cake over DJ or Stephanie). But Jenny is undeniably an indie rock goddess. She's adorable. She's a former child star (appearing in, among other things, The Wizard with Fred Savage and Troop Beverly Hills). She is the lead singer of Rilo Kiley and a stand out solo act. She has a great haircut. She has a wardrobe to die for. She was in the Postal Service. Bottomline, she has red hair.

1. Neko Case - This former pornographer has lended her voice to various diff projects over the years, but my person choice is her solo work. The sounds that come out of this woman are unlike any other. Guaranteed to send chills down your spine. Even bring you to tears. Powerful, rustic, obvi unique, and at times overwhelming. She's the mother of all these other red haired ladies. Its like they're just ginger kids and she's their ginger mama. Some fav tracks include "I'm Am Animal" and "That Teenage Feeling." Gaaah. There's no use in describing. You must listen!

Well, that pretty much rounds up my take on Gingers. The only way I can see that they are mutants is that they have beautiful voices and great hairdos. That's all. k bye.

The Second Annual "Who The Hell Cares What John Thinks!" Music Review

Well another year has gone by and that means that for the second year running all y'all who care can read about what albums I really liked in 2009. It was a great year for music, so great that I had to expand my list to fifteen albums.

Before I start writing about the top 15 I'd like say a few words about No Line On The Horizon, the album U2 released this year. If you know me well, you know that U2 is the first real band I ever liked and that I'm still a pretty big fan today. I think that No Line is a pretty good album, one without a heavy-hitting jam like "Beautiful Day" or "Vertigo." This is why it didn't sell as well as other U2 albums.

I'd also like to state that I'm listening to Bibio's Ambivalence Avenue for the first time and think it's really good. It probably would have made this list had I first heard it earlier in the year.

OK, here goes:

15. The Very Best-Warm Heart of Africa
This album is a collaboration between a guy from Malawi and two British guys, and is to African music what the California Roll is to Sushi. Although that doesn't seem like a compliment, I still like it, especially "Warm Heart of Africa," which features Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend.

14. Atlas Sound-Logos
Bradford Cox is quickly becoming one of my favorite people in music. He seems like a real outsider, that weird guy who sits in his room all day and watches people. I must say that I can sort of relate. Anyway, "Walkabout," which features Noah Lennox, is a standout.

13. God Help The Girl-S/T
Stuart Murdoch is another one of my favorite people in music, and I'll lap up pretty much anything he puts out at this point. A straight up Belle and Sebastian album would have been better, but I can deal with this, especially when its version of "Funny Little Frog" is better than the original on The Life Pursuit.

12. The Antlers-Hospice
Whenever I listen to this I get the same feeling I get when I listen to In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. It's a really sad guy singing about someone who has died. And it doesn't hurt that the guy sings like Jeff Buckley.

11. The Pains of Being Pure At Heart-S/T
A really catchy, fuzzy pop album. All of their songs sort of sound the same, but you won't care because the lyrics are clever. My favorite is "Come Saturday."

10. Discovery-LP
Another catchy pop album, but more R&B-influenced. "Orange Shirt" is a freakin' banger. The only bad track is the muffled Jackson 5 cover.

09. Phoenix-Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The first two tracks alone are worth the price of admission. "1901" is probably my favorite song of the year.

08. Franz Ferdinand-Tonight: Franz Ferdinand
This is probably my favorite of their three albums. It's funkier compared to the other two, which were more guitar-driven. "Lucid Dreams" is a pretty cool foray into electro.

07. Girls-Album
Really good rock n' roll music. The songwriting is simple and heartfelt.

06. Florence And The Machine-Lungs
Every song has a massive singalong chorus. I can't even pick out a favorite track, all 13 are great.

05. Grizzly Bear-Veckatimest
This is more focused than their last album. They incorporate elements of doo-wop on "Two Weeks" and bluesy-sounding guitar on "While You Wait For The Others," my favorite track.

04. Camera Obscura-My Maudlin Career
What can I say, I'm a real sucker for orchestral pop music. It's easy stuff to wrap your finger around, and Tracyanne Campbell is gorgeous and writes great lyrics.

03. Passion Pit-Manners
This album is so much fun to sing along with because the guy has a really high voice. Melodrama at it's finest.

02. Animal Collective-Merriweather Post Pavillion and Fall Be Kind
This was the year I started to appreciate Animal Collective. Better late than never, no? Merriweather is just brilliant, especially "Brother Sport." And if the EP is any indication of where they're going, I'll keep being a fan.

01. Dirty Projectors-Bitte Orca
I listened to this twice in a row when I first got it. I never do that. It WAS the summer of 2009. Walking up and down the beach, listening to "Temecula Sunrise." Blasting "Useful Chamber" in my car with the windows open at sundown in the middle of July. Me and Lizzy throwing our hands up in the air while listening to "Stillness Is The Move." So many memories, and that's why it's number one.

That's all.

Love,
John