A Reason to Commit Suicide: Gas Pump TV

Hi, my name's Jeff. I work at a big advertising firm in Center City and I was just stopping at the Shell to fill up my tank on the way home. It's obvious that I'm on my way home because my shirt's untucked. Anyways, I was gonna order some Pad Thai and watch the Charlie Gibson news when I get home later, but now I don't need to do that because I'm watching the news right here while I'm pumping my gas. Everything I need to know in two minutes. Seriously, this guy's fast. Iraq? We're still there. Oh, Obama made a speech. Ah crap, it's gonna rain on Wednesday. And they even have time for an America's Funniest Home Video! Alright, my tank just clicked. Guess it's time to go. I suppose I'll just order some Pad Thai and download some porn now. Later!

Thank you, Gas Pump TV. You're a reason to commit suicide.