The Second Annual "Who The Hell Cares What John Thinks!" Music Review

Well another year has gone by and that means that for the second year running all y'all who care can read about what albums I really liked in 2009. It was a great year for music, so great that I had to expand my list to fifteen albums.

Before I start writing about the top 15 I'd like say a few words about No Line On The Horizon, the album U2 released this year. If you know me well, you know that U2 is the first real band I ever liked and that I'm still a pretty big fan today. I think that No Line is a pretty good album, one without a heavy-hitting jam like "Beautiful Day" or "Vertigo." This is why it didn't sell as well as other U2 albums.

I'd also like to state that I'm listening to Bibio's Ambivalence Avenue for the first time and think it's really good. It probably would have made this list had I first heard it earlier in the year.

OK, here goes:

15. The Very Best-Warm Heart of Africa
This album is a collaboration between a guy from Malawi and two British guys, and is to African music what the California Roll is to Sushi. Although that doesn't seem like a compliment, I still like it, especially "Warm Heart of Africa," which features Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend.

14. Atlas Sound-Logos
Bradford Cox is quickly becoming one of my favorite people in music. He seems like a real outsider, that weird guy who sits in his room all day and watches people. I must say that I can sort of relate. Anyway, "Walkabout," which features Noah Lennox, is a standout.

13. God Help The Girl-S/T
Stuart Murdoch is another one of my favorite people in music, and I'll lap up pretty much anything he puts out at this point. A straight up Belle and Sebastian album would have been better, but I can deal with this, especially when its version of "Funny Little Frog" is better than the original on The Life Pursuit.

12. The Antlers-Hospice
Whenever I listen to this I get the same feeling I get when I listen to In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. It's a really sad guy singing about someone who has died. And it doesn't hurt that the guy sings like Jeff Buckley.

11. The Pains of Being Pure At Heart-S/T
A really catchy, fuzzy pop album. All of their songs sort of sound the same, but you won't care because the lyrics are clever. My favorite is "Come Saturday."

10. Discovery-LP
Another catchy pop album, but more R&B-influenced. "Orange Shirt" is a freakin' banger. The only bad track is the muffled Jackson 5 cover.

09. Phoenix-Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The first two tracks alone are worth the price of admission. "1901" is probably my favorite song of the year.

08. Franz Ferdinand-Tonight: Franz Ferdinand
This is probably my favorite of their three albums. It's funkier compared to the other two, which were more guitar-driven. "Lucid Dreams" is a pretty cool foray into electro.

07. Girls-Album
Really good rock n' roll music. The songwriting is simple and heartfelt.

06. Florence And The Machine-Lungs
Every song has a massive singalong chorus. I can't even pick out a favorite track, all 13 are great.

05. Grizzly Bear-Veckatimest
This is more focused than their last album. They incorporate elements of doo-wop on "Two Weeks" and bluesy-sounding guitar on "While You Wait For The Others," my favorite track.

04. Camera Obscura-My Maudlin Career
What can I say, I'm a real sucker for orchestral pop music. It's easy stuff to wrap your finger around, and Tracyanne Campbell is gorgeous and writes great lyrics.

03. Passion Pit-Manners
This album is so much fun to sing along with because the guy has a really high voice. Melodrama at it's finest.

02. Animal Collective-Merriweather Post Pavillion and Fall Be Kind
This was the year I started to appreciate Animal Collective. Better late than never, no? Merriweather is just brilliant, especially "Brother Sport." And if the EP is any indication of where they're going, I'll keep being a fan.

01. Dirty Projectors-Bitte Orca
I listened to this twice in a row when I first got it. I never do that. It WAS the summer of 2009. Walking up and down the beach, listening to "Temecula Sunrise." Blasting "Useful Chamber" in my car with the windows open at sundown in the middle of July. Me and Lizzy throwing our hands up in the air while listening to "Stillness Is The Move." So many memories, and that's why it's number one.

That's all.

Love,
John

Soothsaying: The 2010 World Cup

So the greatest sporting event in the world is coming up in 187 days and the draw was announced today. The 2010 Cup will be held in South Africa, and this is a big deal because it's never been in Africa before. I'm predicting right now that the African squads smoke everyone, just like Korea smoked everyone in 2002 when the Cup was played on their turf. Two teams make it out of each group to the Round of 16. Here are my inevitably correct predictions:

Group A: 1. Mexico 2. South Africa 3. France 4. Uruguay

Mexico always does pretty well on the big stage. South Africa will make it because they're the home team and they have to make it. France barely qualified in the first place (they got away with a bunch of crap in a playoff against Ireland) and I think they'll suck like they did in '02. And who the hell is Uruguay?

Group B: 1. Greece 2. Nigeria 3. Argentina 4. South Korea

Greece is pretty high up in the FIFA rankings, so I'll pick them to finish first. Argentina should win every year but they don't because, um, I don't know. I've watched South Korea play a few times and they're not as good as they were a few years ago.

Group C: 1. USA 2. Algeria 3. England 4. Slovenia

OK, I'm a bit biased. But the USA looked so good in the Confederations Cup (played in S.A. this past summer) that I can't not pick them to finish first. I think England will come in overconfident after a laughably easy qualifying schedule.

Group D: 1. Ghana 2. Australia 3. Germany 4. Serbia

Germany ain't shit. Ghana destroyed in qualifying. Serbia will tie every match 0-0. And the Aussies are a bunch of rugged motherf-----s who will find a way to win.

Group E: 1. Netherlands 2. Cameroon 3. Denmark 4. Japan

The Dutch always make it through, and Cameroon has been steamrolling cats lately. Japan sucks and I can't believe they actually made it to the Cup.

Group F:
1. Italy 2. Paraguay 3. Slovakia 17. New Zealand

Dude, they're Italy. Paraguay looked good in qualifying. New Zealand is not even in the same league as these teams and only got in because they play countries like Fiji and American Samoa or some shit in qualifying.

Group G:
1. Brazil 2. Ivory Coast 3. Portugal 4. North Korea

Dude, they're Brazil. Drogba and the Ivory Coast will beat Portugal to get through. Cristiano Ronaldo will be out for that game with a vision problem after accidentally squirting a glob of hair gel into his eye.

Group H: 1. Chile 2. Switzerland 3. Spain 4. Honduras

I don't even know. Honduras isn't very good and the Spanish squad consists of male models.

I'm done thinking about soccer for now.

Four Reasons To See It: An Education

1. The main girl (Carey Mulligan) is freakin' adorable. She kind of looks like Jenny Lewis with the red hair and bangs and all. Interestingly enough, the character she plays is named Jenny.

2. The clothes worn by her character (and the rest of the cast for that matter) are fantastic. People dressed so much better back in the day.

3. The screenplay was written by Nick Hornby, the workingman's literary genius.

4. The movie actually tells us why going to school is important. Imagine that-a movie that poses a question and gives us an answer to said question! Every high school age punk I know should watch this just for that part.

Definitely worth your time.

Sports: Do They Mean Anything?

I've been a sports fan for as long as I can remember. I blame it on my dad, a man who once posed the question "If people don't watch sports, what do they do with their time?" Watch movies? Read books? Blog? In the last couple of years, I've gotten away from ESPN and have explored some of these other options. In the process, I started to dismiss sports as being juvenile and pointless. I'd go to games and think that a majority of the fans were acting like I did when I was ten. I'd take on this holier-than-thou attitude, thinking that people at the stadium were wasting their hard earned dollars on over processed food, singing and dancing along to horrible music, and being completely oblivious to how much of a money hungry, corporate machine sports is, from the salaries of the players and executives to the blatant advertising all over the venue.

In short, I was an elitist.

I went to a Pittsburgh Steelers game at Heinz Field with my dad this past Sunday, and I realized that love, wherever you can find it, is meaningful. 55,000 people dressed in Steeler black and gold were there, all for one reason-they love the Steelers. My eyes welled up with tears before the game as everyone was cheering after the national anthem and two fighter planes flew over making a huge sound, because, well, there was just so much love there. It didn't matter that the love was for a silly football team and a bunch of planes that wasted fuel and millions of taxpayer dollars. Instead I just thought about how great it was that people built this nice stadium with ketchup bottles on the scoreboard and that there are people who can fly those really fast planes without throwing up or crashing them.

I'm gonna try to find love everywhere.

Pure Euphoria: "Havin' My Baby"

"Havin' My Baby" by the Montreal band Think About Life my be the most instantly lovable song I've ever heard. It sounds like TV on the Radio if TV on the Radio made happy music with high-pitched vocal samples. I put it on for the first time last week and continue to play it at least three times a day. Even my mom likes it. No one had heard of this song until a week and a half ago when Pitchfork named it a Best New Track over FIVE months after it came out. Nice one guys. Better late than never I guess.

Seriously, listen to this shit: http://www.myspace.com/thinkaboutlife

The Feelies: Crazy Rhythms

I'd like to document this moment because I feel really good right now because I just walked around Ambler and listened to this album for the first time and it's really good so good that I was running around the deserted leaf-covered streets and the full moon was my friend following me around as I listened to this wonderful music and I want to save the world or even better learn how to play guitar and make something as good as Crazy Rhythms.

And I ate five fun size bags of M&Ms earlier.

Obviously Not Directed By Michael Bay: Bright Star

Bright Star may be the most delicate movie I've ever seen. Just look at that picture. The guy who plays John Keats is really skinny and will be nominated for an Academy Award for perfecting the art of the pathetic cough. I'm by no means an ode to the male sex, but I really wanted to kick his ass by the time it was over. The girl character cries a lot. John Keats' roomie makes lots of witty comments. Smart people will love this movie because it's about a romantic poet and the dialogue is sort of hard to comprehend at times because that's how people talked back in the day. I thought it was OK and worth watching because the violin music was quite beautiful and pretty much every shot glowed with an intense pureness. Pretty colors, dude. The part where they're falling in love was really nice too.
I'd watch it when it comes out on DVD if I were you.

Girls: Album

San Francisco's Girls are a Beach Boys inspired rock band. When I listen to Album, I can't help but conjure up images of them playing to a small crowd on an abandoned island resort, the ground littered with cigarette butts and empty PBR cans. It's kind of a murky, dirty scene, but there's a certain beauty in it too-a statement that could effectively describe Girls, both musically and lyrically. Album is full of beautiful tunes with fuzzed out guitars, and most of the lyrics are about the battle to overcome sadness. Opener "Lust For Life" serves as a thesis statement for the whole thing. Catchy as hell and written like a stream of conciousness wish list, it's one of the best tracks I've heard all year. "Hellhole Ratrace" is a swirling seven minute epic, seemingly written for the sole purpose of pulling the listener out of a state of depression. As you get closer to the end of the record you might start to think that lead guy Christopher Owens (Who, by the way, has had a very messed up life which you should read about) is a little too precious or that his songs are a bit sophomoric. He's got that covered though with the last track, "Darling," where he tells us that he's gonna be OK because his songs are coming from the heart. You'll believe him.

A Book All Guys Should Read: The Portrait of a Lady

I've never written about a book on here, but this one has been on my mind for some time and I feel like sharing my thoughts. It's a great book, and it's no surprise to me that it became a classic. James' writing is amazing. He manages to weave these wonderfully complex sentences without being pompous or losing the attention of the reader, and the conversation portions are oozing with wit. It has quite a bit to say about relationships, and it's a great book for guys who get overly serious about girls to read. It confirms what I've known about the supposedly fairer sex for a few years now-that they're a tease and don't give a crap about us. Without giving much of the plot away, it's about this girl, Isabel Archer, who turns down all of her suitors just because she has the option to do so. And to give away the story even further, (spoiler alert!) she ends up with a complete douchebag. Sound familiar? I think just about everyone with a penis can relate to this. And if you can't, well, you're probably a douchebag. My favorite part of the whole thing was Isabel's realtionship with her cousin, Ralph Touchett. It's one of the most beautiful I've ever encountered in literature, and had me thinking of "Funny Little Frog" by Belle and Sebastian. My other favorite part of Portrait was how much it reminded me of Sex and the City minus Samantha and the various gay guys. Serously, if you took SJP and had her party like it was 1881, you'd have this book. I think that this shows just how relevant it is, and how a great story can transcend time.

A Reason to Commit Suicide: Shirtless Runners

So today is Saturday and when I have the time on Saturdays I like to take my lousy MP3 player and drive over to Valley Green and walk around and listen to my dumb songs. The combination of said dumb songs and the creek and the trees usually makes for a pleasant experience. Today was different, though. As soon as I hit the trail, I was passed by a paper-thin fella with a beard and no shirt. Then, a whole pack of them. Then, an even bigger pack. It was like The Birds or something. The onslaught subsided temporarily, but soon enough waves of these pasty wafers were all I could see. Now I've always been bothered by these dudes, (chalk it up to me getting laughed at during a 7th grade shirts and skins game for having stubby man boobs) but today they REALLY bothered me. Why do they have to run with their shirts off when it's 65 degrees outside? Is there some sort of dick measuring contest where one guy has to show the world that he's indeed the skinniest runner of them all? And do they realize how gay this looks? I'm assuming that most of these topless fiends are straight, and don't even realize how homoerotic this is. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. Even if they are gay, though, they should still put a shirt on. And I'm not going to limit this to guys. Ladies, you should put your clothes on too. Even if you're a 10 you should still leave something to the imagination, girl. But guys especially should cover up. No one, and put me at the top of this list, needs to see your little nipples or little back muscles.

Boys...Yum: Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body is about Megan Fox and how she gains demonic powers and eats teenage boys to stay strong. Sounds rad, right? It is. It's very funny, somewhat scary, and (!) heartbreaking. The MVP is writer Diablo Cody, whose wittiness is all over the movie from start to finish, and many of the lines ("Do you want to be famous like those Maroon 5 guys?") had me LOLing. This could have been another boring slasher movie, but the writing adds a self-awareness to it that made me chuckle. When Megan Fox levitates, it's not "OHMIGOD SHE'S IN THE AIR!!" Instead, it's something like "Oh God, she's levitating. Is there anything she can't do? Yawn." The creators know that this type of movie is absurd, and they're admitting it, and I'm totally buying it. The filmmaking was pretty sleek as well, and there's one scene involving Fox swimming nude in a lake that comes to mind as being, uh, really well done. Did I mention Megan Fox yet? She pretty much owns her role as a super bitch and probably should've been in Mean Girls.
In terms of the deeper stuff, Jennifer's Body has some of that as well. It's a movie about the power of influence, about how girlfriends influence each other and how girls influence boys. I think it's important for young guys to see that while the girl you're fooling around with probably won't eat your flesh, she might give you an STD or she might get preggers.
Jennifer's Body is wildly entertaining, and will be enjoyed best at the theater with a large tub of popcorn on your lap.

Kid Cudi: Man on the Moon

Maybe it's because "Day N Nite" is a pretty rad song or that Kanye West had a hand in its production or that the respectable groups Ratatat and MGMT guest on it or that Kid Cudi is being portrayed as a "sensitive" hip-hop artist by the media. Even after all of that, it was probably the cover art. At any rate, I bought Man on the Moon: The End of the Day, the debut album from Cleveland's Kid Cudi. While it's certainly not game-changing, it does offer some very unique sounds, and many of the tracks sound like denser, spacier verisions of songs on Kanye's 808s and Heartbreak. I would like this album even more if Cudi was a more literate rapper. Allow me to list some choice lyrical samples:
1. From "Soundtrack 2 My Life"-as i grew to be a teen/i disguised myself had the lowest self esteem/especially with the girls/tried every sport just to impress the girls

Is he serious? The world only needs one Rivers Cuomo, and he wore out his welcome like ten years ago.

2. From "Enter Galactic"-i want to kiss you on your space below your navel-ette/the place that you keep neat/so moist like/a towelette

My word that is horrendous.

3. "Make Her Say," which features Common and Kanye, is about a blowjob and samples Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." Poke her face. Get it? Like a blowjob. And is it Kosher to sample a song that's still on the charts? I feel as though current songs shouldn't be sampled.

There's still enough good tracks to make this worth listening to, though. "Cudi Zone" is my favorite because it's about feeling euphoria and has strings. Can't really beat that. "Day N Nite" is obviously pretty good, and the two tracks with Ratatat are good because they have that signature Nintendo-guitar sound that's on all Ratatat songs. I love that sound.

If you like both the poppier side of hip-hop and futurisic beats and don't mind average lyrics, you'll enjoy this album. I'm interested to see what he puts out next, because apparently this is the first in a trilogy or something.

Not Wack: The Wackness

I realize that I'm a little late to the game with this (it came out last summer), but The Wackness really blew me away and I feel like writing about it. It stars Josh Peck (yes, the once chubby kid from Nickelodeon's Drake and Josh) as a loner/pot dealer with a bleak outlook on life. Ben Kingsley plays the shrink who listens to his problems in exchange for the green stuff. The movie evolves into this wonderful coming of age story and makes some nice observations about love and happiness. It also features some great writing and a top-shelf soundtrack, full of early 90s hip-hop gems by the likes of Nas and B.I.G., among others. If you aren't completely grown up and have a pulse, you'll probably enjoy The Wackness.

The Summer of Lizzy: Tippy Top Albums

So this summer, music is basically what saved me from wrist slitting boredom. So here is a list of my fav five (well plus one because it needed to be mentioned...) albums that were in rotation this summa. I've also included the best tracksfrom each according to moi... here goes!
p.s. order does matter in this case. They go in descending order from least to most rockin.

*BONUS* - A list of summer albums would not be complete without bringing up Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest. This was more of an early summer obsession; the harmonies and do-woop make your heart melt.
track to check = While You Wait For the Others

Alrighty, now for the start of my listomania!

5. Marry Me - St. Vincent
Although this is not her newest work, Annie Clark really brings the funk on this album. Actor Out of Work is def worthwhile too, but lyrically and vocally, I think this is better. The subtleties of the music are surprising as well. I think my fav line is probably, "Let's do what Mary and Joseph did... without the kid." Damn straight gurl.
tracks to check = Marry Me & The Party

4. Middle Cyclone and Fox Confessor Brings the Flood - Neko Case
So once again, Johnny gave me the gift of both a newer and older album from an artist. Most known for her days as a pornographer (in The New Pornographers) - btw I did not think of this wit on my own, I read that somewhere... Neko Case is obvi an amazing solo artist as well. Her vocals will send chills down your spine and she's quite hmm.. what's the word, rustic? Both albums (but Middle Cyc esp) make you feel like you're walking through a forest somewhere among furry animals and woodsiness or that you should be. Nature has a presence in each and every song. Also, I have this theory that there is a select red-headed population of women who were created for no other purpose but to grace us all non-ginger people with their voices....but that's a diff post for a diff day...
tracks to check = I'm An Animal & That Teenage Feeling

3. God Help the Girl - God Help the Girl
I really thought Stuart Murdoch could not get anymore awesome until I listened to this. Stu and the Girls (who are singin' about my life), warm it up real nice with this musical film soundtrack. In case you didn't know, Stuart Murdoch is the lead dude in the Scottish indie pop band Belle and Sebastian. The girls that sing on this album, however, are not part of B&S. I'm pretty anxious to see how all of these characters fit together into an actual movie. But of course, like anything Murder Murdoch produces, the music is enough. It contains infectious melodies and harmonies will that make you ear-gasm all over the place (eww that sounds gwwwoss!). But fo real, the best part of all is the lyricos. I could go on forever picking out fav lines, but I'll spare you. I would like to point out a very special song called "Pretty Eve in the Tub" which Johnny and I agree only good ole Stuart could get away with without being dubbed a fag by the general populous. Rhyming tub with scrub and rub is not really acceptable, but I'll allow it this once. The main character (Eve) whose part is sung by Catherine Ireton is delightfully soulful, esp on her new and improved version of "Funny Little Frog." Too bad production on the film doesn't start til 2010... why oh why Stewey must you torture me so??

tracks to check = God Help the Girl & Funny Little Frog

2. Bitte Orca - Dirty Projectors

Okay, okay. I may be jumping and barely hanging on to the Dirty Projector's band wagon, but I can't help it. Admittedly, I have never listened to any of their other albums, but these damn harmonies just get to me. This is the latest project of Dave Longstreth who bleh bleh bleh went to some Ivy League bleh bleh. He paired up, or I guess more tripled up, or should I say sexteted?? up with some other people to make this band... but the important point is that the female vocalists are the shit! Amber Coffman, Angel Deradoorian, and some other fille will make your heart effing bleed. You think you've heard harmony before, but you've never heard it like this. The album was consciously based on the harmonies of the three female voices for God's sake. Some things I dislike about it... 1. The title is gibberish. It has no real meaning, Longfellow (or whatev) just thought the words Bitte(German word) and Orca(like the whale) sounded cool together. Kinda hokey and pointless if you ask me. But you didn't ask me. But I'm tell you anywayz. Actually, number 1 is the only reason I don't like it. Because there's not much to hate on. You have to be slightly open to strange sounds and instruments, but I think this is pretty accessible. Catchy and angelic (not a common combo), but give it a spin!

tracks to check = Two Doves and Stillness is the Move

1. Manners - Passion Pit

The great French musician M83(who's not really great at all) once said Saturdays=Youth. Well, if we're getting mathematical about it, then I say Passion Pit = Summer. This LP and their Chunk of Change EP(which was orig created as a V-day present for a GF) made my life complete this summer. I have a list (which I'm starting right now) of people who "just fucking get it." You know those friends or musicians or whoever you come across on Earth who truly comprehend the human condition and what life's all about, they just fucking get it. I believe that Michael Angelakos, the lead singer/songwriter of PP, just fucking gets it. His lyrics ooze youthfulness and a great understanding what young people need to hear. He knows his audience of sweaty adolescents dancing around in a church basement(aka me and Johnny on August 15, 2009) to his falsetto and sweet beatz. Besides being super catchy, every song brings a new message of growing up and the pains involved. Their live show was truly the best I have ever attended. So congratulations Mr. Angelakos & company, you have won Elizabeth's award for best album of Summer 2009. Feel special. Okay, now for some of my favorite lyrics in now particular order... "I hope that I'll fall asleep knowing that you'll always be the story with no ending..."(ellipses obvi necessary) "I believe in believing the things that we don't see." "Oh have you ever felt so goddamn strong? How come it takes some people so damn long?" alright 3 is the magic number. I'm sure you'll pick your own favs.

tracks to check = Little Secrets & Sleepyhead

Super Cool Pre-Passion Pit Photo Shoot

Although summer is quickly slipping through our finger tips, it is not too late to harvest healthy harmonies with any of the previously mentioned artistes this autumn. Also, it is not to late to go see (500) Days of Summer :o) (smileys with noses are the best of the emoticons) kbye.

About to Blow Up: The Soft Pack

The Soft Pack are a band from San Diego. They used to be called The Muslims, but, well, obviously they had to change that. They play really catchy, raw rock songs. When I listen to them, I think of The Walkmen, The Modern Lovers, and The Velvet Underground all at the same time. Nuff said. Their Muslims EP is real good, and I'm sure once they release a full-length album they'll gain lots of fans.

A Rave Without the Ecstasy: Passion Pit at the FUC

So me and Lizzy saw Passion Pit at the First Unitarian Church Saturday night and it was pretty much the most fun show either of us had ever been to. The notoriously cramped and steamy basement of the FUC was the perfect place to see an upbeat, dancy band like Passion Pit play live, and it was great to see them here before they move on to a place like the Electric Factory. Every song was a communal singalong, and, for an hour or so, humans as a whole were pretty alright. "Sleepyhead" was undoubtedly the highlight of their set. People jumped up and down, water flew everywhere, people made out, and everyone experienced the elusive "eargasm." Well, at least I did. They mercifully ended the set after playing 13 songs or so, at which time everyone stormed the exit to get some much needed fresh air. I emerged from the furnace with a fogged up pair of glasses, my favorite shirt supersaturated with sweat (some of my own and some from other people) and a great story to tell the grandkids.

About to Blow Up: BLK JKS

In case you haven't heard, BLK JKS (pronounced "Black Jacks") are a band from South Africa. They've gotten more than a few plays on WXPN and are even featured in the latest Rolling Stone. Their EP Mystery, released earlier this year, is tremendous. I can't even begin to describe their music, except to say that it's really beautiful and it sounds like they've harnessed the heavens. They have a full-length coming out next month, and I'll be first in line to buy it.

See It: (500) Days of Summer

(500) Days of Summer is undeniably good. As much as I wanted to hate it for its cuteness, it really is a great movie, full of great dialogue, acting, and filmmaking. Nearly every scene was memorable, from the one pictured above where Tom and Summer have an endearingly awkward convo about the Smiths to the Hall & Oates song and dance number. Zooey Deschanel made me swoon, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt made me, well, can't just about every melancholy-ish guy out there relate to his character?
The thing about this movie that really got me though was how realistic it was. You see the little idiosyncracies that every couple has. Summer and Tom play the penis game and pretend that a kitchen in a department store is their own. This is the kind of stuff that really gets an audience to pay attention and develop a profound connection with the characters. It ended brilliantly as well, sort of the same way Adaptation ended if I remember correctly.
I really hope this movie becomes the next Juno or Little Miss Sunshine. It's certainly the best thing I've seen this year.

Album of the Year?: Bitte Orca

I'm totally jumping on the bandwagon with this one, but Dirty Projectors' Bitte Orca is the best album I've heard in a really long time. That's saying a lot, because some really great albums (Merriweather Post Pavillion, Veckatimest, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, et al.) have been released this year. Pretty indicative of just how good this one is.
Seriously, this album has everything. It takes unexpected twists and turns, has interesting songwriting, some stellar guitar playing, and some of the prettiest vocal harmonies you'll ever hear. They even threw in "Stillness is the Move," a track (this might be a stretch) that wouldn't be out of place on pop radio. With uplifting vocals and accessible lyrics, ya never know.
There's so much to hear on Bitte Orca. In fact, in terms of complexity, I'd put it right up there with Radiohead's OK Computer or Bjork's Homogenic, two of my favorite records ever. It's hard to listen to "Useful Chamber" and not think that it was inspired by "Paranoid Android." And the intertwining of electronic elements and soothing strings, well, that's Homogenic for ya.
On Bitte Orca, Dirty Projectors have created a work of art. It's more than just a bunch of songs-it's words and sounds thrown on a canvas. They deserve lots of love and recognition for creating something so wonderful.

This Ain't No Disney Movie: A Bug's Life

I've seen several "bug perspective" animated films that won my heart. "A Bug's Life," "The Bee Movie" (obvi a winner bc of Seinfeld), and who could forget 1998's, "Antz" (gotta love Woody Allen and the replacement of an "s" with a "z" before it was trendy). Their convincing arguments and celebrity voices forced me to respect the insect population at least for a few days after viewing the mov. I'd also like to mention that one of my fav children's books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, played a pivotal role in my liking of arthropods. I've even met some nice bugs in my lifetime, especially of late.

Chronicled below are three relatively recent encounters I've had with insects:

1) Time frame: a few weeks ago
I was moving some things into my new apt by myself, probably carrying a large awkward box of sorts, when I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my left forearm. I could not really look at it (due to the load I was lifting), but figured it was just a disagreeable strand of hair or a cobweb. It wasn't until I got into my room that I dropped the box only to discover a wittle wadybug (aka ladybug) racing up my arm. Although I usually freak out about any sort of creepy crawlers (not the awesome childhood toy) in my territory, this case was an exception. I didn't mind at all! I left my new friend on the wall and she(not to be gender bias, but I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's a female) hung out with me, helping me decorate my new room all afternoon. I'll admit, I was a bit uneasy about being in this new and unknown space alone, so it was thoughtful of this ladybug to come and keep me company. Conclusion: Bugs make good companions

2) Time frame: a week ago
So, I've been running pretty often and usually do not end up going out for my run until later at night because I put it off all day, but also because at night it is cooler(with it being summer and all). This day though, I waited much too long. It was about 8 o'clock and the sun was quickly setting. It was almost pitch black as I approached the toughest section of my run (aka the part I normally walk at). Lightning bugs began surrounding me which was quite magical. I put out my hand and one hopped right on. This firefly was not going anywhere. He stayed with me on that street, up the steepest of hills, and onto the darkest (non-street lighted) road of my run. I put out my hand several times to let him go, but every time I looked he was still lying there in the same position. I thought he might be dead. Maybe my super fast pace was just too much for the little guy (jk jk). But alas, as I turned the corner off the dark dark road onto my own safe and adequately lighted street, he had flown off. It's like he knew I didn't need his little bead of light to brighten my path anymore. He was the light by which I travelled into this and that... mm Jens. But for real, I would like to thank that lightning bug for hitching a ride on my hand that night. Even if it was for all the wrong reasons. Like maybe he just needed to get from one side of town to the other. Thought, "Hey this girl's hand looks pretty legit." But whatever his motives, I'll never forget you firefly. Conclusion: Bugs make good lanterns.

So after these two tales, it seems like I heart bugs, right? And after these two positive experiences I did. I was getting over my mild arachnophobia and even considered buying a bug collector at Target. Until...

3) Time frame: Today
I'm at the beach. Perfect day. The sand, the water, the wind, the company, the cute boy (who I pine over just for this week down the shore), a day dream kinda day. Every thing's in it's place to create the beachiest beach trip eva. I was just sinking into my chair, listening to The Beach Boys when... itchy itch itchy itch itch, all around my ankles (which were already stinging from shaving abrasions)! What caused such irritation (the severity of which I really cannot describe in words)??

The culprit was none other than those damn HORSE FLIES!!

Seriously, they suck. There is nothing positive to say about the horse fly. It is ugly, it makes a mean sound, it bites you, and it's not even cool enough to have an original name. It's named after another animal.

In conclusion, I want to apologize to that ladybug and the firefly I met for what I'm about to say. They were lovely bugs, but that horse fly really did it for me. Stomping on any little dot that might be a bug (even it if turns out to be a piece of lint or a crumb) is my new plan. Thanks for ruining everything horse fly. I now HATE BUGS!

A Reason to Commit Suicide: Gas Pump TV

Hi, my name's Jeff. I work at a big advertising firm in Center City and I was just stopping at the Shell to fill up my tank on the way home. It's obvious that I'm on my way home because my shirt's untucked. Anyways, I was gonna order some Pad Thai and watch the Charlie Gibson news when I get home later, but now I don't need to do that because I'm watching the news right here while I'm pumping my gas. Everything I need to know in two minutes. Seriously, this guy's fast. Iraq? We're still there. Oh, Obama made a speech. Ah crap, it's gonna rain on Wednesday. And they even have time for an America's Funniest Home Video! Alright, my tank just clicked. Guess it's time to go. I suppose I'll just order some Pad Thai and download some porn now. Later!

Thank you, Gas Pump TV. You're a reason to commit suicide.

A Reason to Not Commit Suicide: Long John Silver's

When I tell people about how much I like Long John Silver's, my admiration is usually met with repulsion. "Eeeew, how can you eat seafood at a fast food place??" My response: Give it a chance. Seriously, I challenge anyone to go Long John's, order the Super Sampler platter, and tell me that it's not the best fast food they've ever had. The fried shrimp, the fish, the chicken, the glob of cole slaw, and most of all the Hush Puppies-it's the perfect meal. I will give you the nine dollars you paid for it if it isn't. I usually go here about five times a year or so, and it's almost always on a day when I've lost faith in humanity or am in the midst of an existential crisis. There's just something about downing an overflowing plate of golden-fried perfection and ringing that bell on the way out that makes everything seem OK.

Thank you, Long John Silver's. You're a reason to not commit suicide.

Cuter Than a Marshmallow Peep: Zooey Deschanel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPjfqWCscJk

I heart Zooey Deschanel.

I loved her in Elf. I loved her in Yes, Man. I loved her with M. Ward. I even loved her when she played Jimmy Fallon's unfortunate GF in this horrid song from 2002. She went to high school with Jake Gyllenhall(hawt) and Kate Hudson for god's sake. She is just so cute I want to eat her up with a side of Cool Whip or drink her down out of a floral tea cup! I feel a bit foolish, but I've already ordered a 500 Days of Summer poster for ma chambre... I am almost guaranteeing myself that I'm gonna like it though. I am highly, highly anticipating this mov's arrival in my postal area. And the soundtrack isn't looking too shabby either. Zoo-face(we have pet names for each other) said herself, “If they were bonding over some shitty band, that would actually make me close the script. But the fact that they liked music that was approved by me, because they’re bonding over the Smiths, I was, like, ‘Well, obviously!’ ” ZOMG, Zooey! You're such a smart little actress. Picking dem roles like it's no body's business. The origin's of her name are even super cool. Zooey was named for the male character in JD Salinger's "Franny and Zooey." At this point, Zooey Deschanel really tops all other Zooeys out on the pop culture scene. Like, um, Zoey 101(notice the lack of the second "o" - lame!)...but I guess that kind of died when Jamie Lynn got preggers. Or Zooey from Seasame Street. Who needs Elmo when you've got Ben Gibbard? Zooey is the ish. So, go see 500 Days of Summer!

kbye.

"And if a double decker bus
Kills the both of us"

That would probably be OK.

It Works: Whatever Works

Whatever Works is the new Woody Allen movie, and of the ten or so Woody Allen movies I've seen, it's my favorite. It stars Larry David as an angry aging intellectual and Evan Rachel Wood as a gorgeous and clueless southern belle who stumbles into his life and changes it completely. It's wonderfully funny and very charming. The script is extremely well-written, especially during the parts where David is ranting about the various faults of the human race. The movie also makes some interesting points on the "chance factor" in life and also on the power of influence. It ended very nicely as well, and I left the theater with a big, goofy grin that didn't go away for some time.

Champions of the 1998 World Cup: Rwanda

I would just like the world to know that I won the World Cup in FIFA Road To World Cup 98 for Nintendo 64 with the proud nation of Rwanda. Our run included a stunning 3-0 defeat of Argentina in the round of 16 and a 1-0 win over Cambodia in the final. If we had to play France (the strongest team in the game and actual winners of the 98 Cup) we would've beat their asses too.

A Guy Who Could Use a Hug: Mike Bones

On his MySpace page, New York-based musician Mike Bones (real name Mike Strallow) says his influences are "Beautiful women and existential despair." You get the idea. His second album, A Fool For Everyone, was released earlier this year, and lyrically it's one of the most depressing albums I've ever heard. Musically though, it's one of the best. Take the first track, "Today The World Is Worthy of My Loathing," where Bones offers a guitar solo that would impress Neil Young. "What I Have Left" may be the most beautiful song I've heard all year, as strings and piano come into the mix. Bones croons smoothly throughout the album, and his voice is a good fit for the rootsy-sounding arrangements.
There are two things that I don't like about A Fool For Everyone, however. One is the cover photo of Bones laying in bed sans a shirt. Why the Ode to Chest Hair, dude? The other thing is that after about six tracks, (at least for me it was six) his overly sad lyrics start to get annoying. Are you really this sad all the time?? Maybe he is and I should be nicer.
Anyway, this album is still worth listening to because the music is great. Maybe a lot of people will download it and he won't be so depressed anymore.

Here's a link to Mike Bones' MySpace page. There are lots of tracks from A Fool For Everyone.
http://www.myspace.com/littlemikebones

Oh, and on an unrelated note, Mike Jones blows.

First Post Evah!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

A Scene From the Wawrzyniak House

Date: Saturday, July 18, 2009
Time: 3:00 p.m.??
Place: Living Room

(John walks in)

John: I want to start a blog.

Lizzy: Me too!!

John: Let's start one together!

Lizzy:Then at least I know that one person is reading it.

John:I want to blog about music, movies, books, and other stuff that I deem cool.

Lizzy: You're gay.

John:Well what do you want to blog about?!?

Lizzy: I don't know.