My Favorite Albums of 2010

Here goes:

25. Girls-Broken Dreams Club EP-Chris Owens and co. progress logically from 2009's Album. There's more to the music and the lyrics are better. Looking forward to hearing more. Maybe they'll call their next release Another Album.

24. Flying Lotus-Cosmogramma-Didn't listen to this much, but it's still tremendous. A gifted beatmaker with a jazz mindset.

23. Tamaryn-The Waves-Massive stuff, not unlike early 90s shoegaze bands like My Bloody Valentine and Slowdive. "Mild Confusion" is real sexy.

22. The Love Language-Libraries-Great pop songs. Phil Spector might be proud.

21. Gorillaz-Plastic Beach-Not sure how well it flows as an album, but there are too many great singles here to not include it on this list. "White Flag" is a really neat song.

20. Beat Connection-Surf Noir EP-High-quality beach tunes. AND it was free on their Bandcamp.

19. The Radio Dept.-Clinging to a Scheme-I was really into Saint Etienne when this came out, and this sort of sounds like/is good as one of their early albums. It would be even better if there was more "Heaven's on Fire" and less shoegaze.

18. The Morning Benders-Big Echo-Would've been number one if there were more songs like "Excuses."

17. Crystal Castles-Crystal Castles II-A bit inconsistent, but when they're good, they're REALLY good. "Baptism," "Celestica," and "Pap Smear" are worth the price of admission.

16. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti-Before Today-Weird lo-fi pop. Sags in the middle big-time on tracks seven and eight. "Round and Round" is an instant classic, though.

15. Free Energy-Stuck on Nothing-I hate using the word "fun" when describing music, but I can't resist here. Good clean rock n'roll fun.

14. Beach House-Teen Dream-Beach House put some muscle behind their characteristic dreaminess and produced their best album to date. Beautiful tunes.

13. Baths-Cerulean-Such an original sound. The beats are crazy, the vocals are wacky, and Cerulean is off the chain.

12. Four Tet-There Is Love In You-Speaking of beats, here's another dude who knows what he's doing. Even my dad said that this is "nice music." If Janek Wawrzyniak, a man who has no idea what is cool in 2010 says it's good, it's good.

11. Twin Shadow-Forget-Danceable tunes with clever lyrics. I thought this guy was a joke when I first saw him on Hipster Runoff. Dumb ol' me.

10. Perfume Genius-Learning-Sometimes you're sad, and when you're sad it can be good to hang with other people who are sad. Makes you feel less alone in the world, ya know? This was my go-to "sad album" in 2010.

09. Deerhunter-Halcyon Digest-This was a weird one for me. I thought it was the BEST ALBUM EVER after the first listen, and since then I've liked it less and less. The first and last tracks are forgettable, the middle is great.

08. Dom-Sun Bronzed Greek Gods EP-Please please please don't become the next Passion Pit or MGMT, Dom. Infectious pop songs with "I don't give a eff" lyrical sentiments.

07. Janelle Monae-The ArchAndroid-Janelle is rad and has crazy skills. She's got a great voice and uses it to take us on a journey through popular music. This album's got a lot: R&B, Rock n'Roll, 60s psych, Outkast-esque bangers, and for the love of God the dude from Of Montreal's on here! Still waiting for "Tightrope" or "Cold War" to become a smash hit. Maybe in 2011...

06. Kanye West-My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy-Doesn't contain as many radio-ready singles as Kanye's previous albums, but it's a classic nonetheless. So many great collabs-obviously Nicki Minaj kills it, but what about Chris Rock on "Blame Game?" Effing hilarious.

05. Vampire Weekend-Contra-They proved that they're here to stay with this album. More atmospherics and more risk taking. Drummer Chris Tomson is a vastly underrated component of this band. Seriously, listen to the drums on "Run" or "Cousins." He makes those tracks go.

04. Tame Impala-Innerspeaker-Let's have a toast for the introverts! Awesome psych pop, and the singer is a dead ringer for John Lennon. My most listened to album during the summer of 2010.

03. LCD Soundsystem-This is Happening-One of the best album titles ever. One of the coolest album covers ever. Music's pretty cool as well. "You Wanted A Hit" is sort of boring, but we'll give James a mulligan on that one.

02. The Walkmen-Lisbon-Disclaimer: The Walkmen are pretty much my favorite band. Anything they put out will be enjoyed immensely by yours truly. Howling vocals, loud guitars, insane drumming. S'where it's at.

01. Sleigh Bells-Treats-Came completely out of nowhere and melted my face off. Hip-hop beats with heavy metal intensity? Ain't nobody made an album like this before, and that's why it's #1.

My Favorite Songs of 2010

Here I sit, sweatpanted and tube socked. Ten days off in front of me. It's that wonderful time of the year again: Christmas lights, bowl games, moderate alcohol consumption, and year end lists. Here are my top 50 songs of 2010:

50. The Love Language-"Brittany's Back"-A short, catchy indie pop song with a big ol' chorus.
49. Best Coast-"Crazy For You"-She whines about the same crap for thirteen tracks. This one has the best riff and this gem of a couplet: "Even though you are my guy/I always freak when I get high." Bethany's on some Emily Dickinson shit, son.
48. Ramadanman-"Don't Change For Me"-The first of many songs on this list to contain an infectious vocal sample. A straight up head nodder.
47. Memoryhouse-"Lately (Deuxieme)"-Real dreamy. The most vapid female vocalist I've ever heard, in a good way.
46. The Clientele-"Minotaur"-A great song to listen to when you want to gloat in self-pity.
45. Les Sins-"Lina"-Just listened to this for the first time two days ago. It's that good.
44. Local Natives-"Airplanes"-I WANT IT ALLLLLLLLL SO MUCH I CAAAAALL
43. The Morning Benders-"Excuses"-Nice retro sound. Pretty masterful in construction, although I'm not so sure about the lyrics. I think they're about eating p----.
42.Ke$ha-"We R Who We R"-She says "hard" a lot. Some Beavis & Butthead-style humor on y'all.
41. Warpaint-"Composure"-Love the schoolyard chant. It would be higher up if they didn't go into that Dismemberment Plan-esque jam.
40. Kelis-"Acapella"-Sounds like a dance hit from 1995 + Donna Summer.
39. Belle & Sebastian-"Come on Sister"-Why oh why couldn't they have put more songs like this on Write About Love?
38. Gorillaz-"White Flag"-Love the orchestra.
37. Fishing-"OOOO"-Quite possibly the goofiest song I've ever heard. Never failed to put a grin on my face this year.
36. Beat Connection-"In The Water"-Love the beachy sounding stuff. Reminds me of Air France.
35. Let's Wrestle-"We Are The Men You'll Grow To Love Soon"-How could a responsible dude such as moi not like this song? My mom has been conveying its message to me since I was in elementary school and whined because some girl didn't like me.
34. Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings-"Better Things"-Reeeal groovy.
33. Four Tet-"This Unfolds"-Gorgeous stuff. What's unfolding? It's like your opinion, man.
32. Twin Shadow-"At My Heels"-The image of a ladder on a window is so nostalgic. Makes me think of Clarissa Explains It All.
31. Cults-"Go Outside"-Sounds like spring. I always picture a big crowd singing along and swaying their arms.
30. Beach House-"Silver Soul"-I've read the lyrics to this song about a hundred times and still don't understand what in the world Vicky's singing about. I definitely understand that watery guitar line though.
29. Dum Dum Girls-"Oh Mein M"-The best song about love at first sight since Kylie Minogue's "Love At First Sight."
28. Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti-"Reminisces"-Sounds like driving around on a hazy summer evening.
27. Baths-"Plea"-Beautiful, heartfelt stuff. "You are every color, how am I visible?"
26. Caribou-"Sun"-Best time to listen to this one is when the sun's rising. Duuuuh.
25. Aeroplane-"We Can't Fly"-Funk, disco, a little hip-hop, and some gospel? The song of the future.
24. Crystal Castles-"Baptism"-Destroys. Sounds like J. Timberlake's "My Love" on heroin.
23. Perfume Genius-"You Won't B Here"-Pretty devastating. M'man is beyond sad.
22.The Drums-"Best Friend"-The rhythm section is catchy as hell, and the vocalist brings the sassy.
21. Highlife-"F Kenya RIP"-I could listen to that riff all day. That and the guy saying that "the diamonds are low" or whatever it is.
20. Shine 2009-"New Rules"-Ooooooh yeeeah. Sounds like the "I'm refreshed" sound you make after quenching your thirst.
19. Delorean-"Simple Graces"-Great vocal sample of a guy going "ooohhh" and a baby surfing on a rocket.
18. Young Montana-"Sacre Cool"-LUVYALIKEWHIIEEEEIIIII
17. Free Energy-"Bang Pop"-Rock n' roll genius.
16. Twin Sister-"All Around And Away We Go"-Great intro, quirky vocals, rad fractured guitar solo.
15. The National-"England"-Pretty epic stuff. The piano line is real moving.
14. The Radio Dept.-"Heaven's On Fire"-Sounds like fire hydrants bursting open in the summer.
13. LCD Soundsystem-"Home"-James Murphy just gets it.
12. Tame Impala-"Solitude Is Bliss"-Dude, it really is.
11. Deerhunter-"Helicopter"-Bradford Cox finds the most twisted news stories and writes songs about them. I guess there is a point to reading the paper.
10. Onra-"High Hopes"-Chillwave + Hip-Hop=Chillhop.
09. TV Girl-"If You Want It"-Love the Todd Rundgren sample. Lyrics remind me of "Self-Esteem" by The Offspring.
08. Dom-"Living In America"-While Win Butler was telling us how much we suck, these dudes pulled a Jonathan Richman and told us why everything's cool.
07. Janelle Monae-"Dance Or Die"/"Faster"/"Locked Inside"-These tracks combine for an incredibly satisfying ten plus minutes of music. Starts off with a funky stomp, switches to an upbeat motown vibe, then transitions brilliantly to a sparking Stevie Wonder-emulating jam.
06. Vampire Weekend-"Diplomat's Son"-Sounds like Dirty Projectors' "Useful Chamber," Vampire Weekend style.
05. Japandroids-"Younger Us"-REMEMBERTHATNIGHTYOUWEREALREADYINBEDSAIDFUCKITGOTUPTODRINKWITHMEINSTEAD
04. Sleigh Bells-"Rill Rill"-Sounds like summa love.
03. Katy Perry-"Teenage Dream"-See #4.
02. Kanye West-"Power"-Goes from feeling like a superhero to jumping out a window in under five minutes. That's 'Ye for ya.
01. The Walkmen-"Angela Surf City"-Alternate title: "Power."

Favorite albums to come.

Kanye West

"I just needed some time alone, with my own thoughts
Got treasures in my mind, but couldn't open up my own vault
My childlike creativity, purity and honesty
Is honestly being prodded by these grown thoughts
Reality is catching up with me
Taking my inner child, I'm fighting for it, custody"

Pretty darn wondrous.

Wishing My Life Away

How much of your life do you spend wishing it away? As I was entering school this morning around 7 a.m., my only thought was "Please let it be 3 p.m. ASAP." That's eight hours right there. If I'm awake for approximately 17 hours, that's nearly half of my day that I'm wishing away. Other days it's even worse. Heck, when I used to be a substitute teacher and work at Target, I'd be wishing away pretty much the entire day. And for what? So after 13 hours of mundaneness I'd get an hour to relax before going to bed? That's crap. I think we should all make a conscious effort to enjoy as much of our time as we can. Just look closely and try to find something nice about your current situation. Anything. I wonder if there was ever anyone who ever lived who enjoyed every single moment of their life and never wished that any of it would pass. Or even the person who wished away the least amount of time. I'd like to meet him/her and find out what they did for a living. And does the prospect of doing something fun make wishing your life away worth it? Like if someone is looking forward to getting through their day so they can go to happy hour afterward, does that make the wishing away acceptable? And do those things that we think will be fun even always turn out to be fun? Usually not. Attaching high expectations to something only increases the chances of it being less enjoyable.

We can't depend on a concert, a bar, or even another person to make us happy.

We have to do it ourselves, and we have to do it as much as possible. Because what else is there, really?

Should I Buy a PS3?

As I was cleaning my room this weekend, I was reminded of a long lost love I once had. No, it wasn't the girl I had a crush on when I was in fifth grade. Yes, it was video games. I dusted off my old N64 and GameCube, and thought "Man, I really miss video games." I spent many an hour during my formative years sitting around and pushing buttons, and have decided that I would like to do so again. It doesn't matter that I'm a real teacher now or that I'll probably be starting grad school in the next few months, right? I had subscribed to the school of thought that video games were a complete waste of time for a few years, that is until I saw THIS GAME:

Seriously, how awesome does this look? It seems to be a video game that plays like a movie. And after reading more about Heavy Rain, I'm throwing the whole "waste of time" thing out the window. This is right up there with movies and books in terms of escapism.

I think I'm gonna buy a PS3.

I just need to make sure I don't get addicted.

Grading Candy

It goes without saying that I've consumed a large quantity of sweets over the past few days. A connoisseur of everything unhealthy, I've decided to rate the various types of candy I've eaten with the hope of finding out which is actually the best. Here goes:

1. Milk Duds: "Dud" is the key word here. Chocolate covered caramels that can potentially yank out your fillings? C'mon, you can do better. GRADE: C-

2. Kit-Kat: I've always been a fan of the Kit-Kat bar. Milk chocolate and wafers make for a delightfully crispy experience, and I don't feel entirely like a fat slob after enjoying one. GRADE: A-

3. Whoppers: Vastly underrated. The only downside to eating a pack of Whoppers is that they make one incredibly thirsty, more so than the average chocolatey confection. Make sure you have about a gallon of milk on hand before cracking open a pack. GRADE: B

4. Mounds/Almond Joy: Awww yeah. If it's got coconut, sign me up. Mounds has dark chocolate, but Almond Joy prevails because, well, it has a big fat almond inside, a bonus that's easily comparable to finding a handful of diamonds inside of a pot of gold. GRADE: Mounds: A-/Almond Joy: A

5. Snickers: The candy bar that eats like a meal. Delicious, but seriously, it's just a little too much. GRADE: B+

6. Heath: Criminally underrated, it's like Butterfinger's tastier, more sophisticated older brother. GRADE: A-

7. Charleston Chew: Fantastic stuff, especially when the grocery store is selling the footlongs for a buck. The milk chocolate and vanilla nougat unite for a simply delicious experience. GRADE: B+

8. 3 Musketeers: Similar to the Kit-Kat in that I don't feel entirely like a fat slob after eating one. Also, it's fun to pretend to be French when you're eating one and be all like: "Ah oui, c'est un bar de Trois Mousquetaires." GRADE: A-

9. SweeTarts: This has to be the most superfluous candy in existence. Really, is there anyone out there who is a SweeTarts enthusiast? Like "Yeah, WOOOOO SWEETARTS!!!!" Nah. GRADE: D

10. Peanut Butter M&Ms: GRADE: A++++++++++++++++++++++

The Seventh Seal

I watched this a few years ago and didn't "get" it.

I just watched it and I "got" it, I think.

This might be the greatest film ever made. It doesn't entertain, it enlightens. You will love this movie. Everyone will love this movie. Why? Because it's about you and everyone. You ARE everyone. We're just a hopeless throng of humanity trying to make sense of life and death. It seems pretty bleak, but one comforting thought does prevail-no matter how skilled you are, you can't beat the grim reaper at chess. We'll all do the dance of death someday, and we'll do it together.

I would like to hug everyone in the world after watching this. I'm serious.

Welcome to the Dollhouse

Finally got to watch this for the first time. Thanks, Netflix! It was very heartbreaking and misanthropic, a perfect movie to watch when you're having a bad day and loathe everyone. It really does depict us humans at our most base level, how we just take whatever nastiness comes our way and give it back to someone who's lower on the food chain. I loved how my opinions of the characters changed completely during the 90 minutes. My favorite part was near the beginning, the scene where Dawn was being harassed in the girls bathroom. The dialogue went something like this:

Dawn: Why do you hate me?
Girl: Because you're ugly!

I think this perfectly captures the unjustified hatred which underlies school bullying. My other favorite part was when Dawn was dreaming about everyone loving her. That's all anyone wants, right? Todd Solondz has human nature down to a T here, and anyone who's honest about their interactions with people will appreciate this movie.

The Walkmen: Lisbon

I'm not sure what makes the Walkmen a great band. They just are one. Maybe it's the half-drunk vocals of Hamilton Leithauser, alternating between crooning and yelling. Maybe it's the seemingly effortless strumming of guitarist Paul Maroon. Maybe it's the idiosyncratic time-keeping done by drummer Matt Barrick. Or maybe it's just the horns.

Okay, now I know. They're a great band because they combine all of these elements to create a retro-cool sound, one they introduced on 2008's stellar You and Me and continue on Lisbon, their latest release. Like any Walkmen album, it effectively combines guitar freakouts and muted ballads, and the frequent changes of pace make for a very engaging listen. They rev the engines pretty quickly on Lisbon with second track "Angela Surf City," arguably the disc's finest moment. An instant Walkmen classic, it features one of the most awe-inspiring choruses I've ever laid my ears on. Leithauser pushes his voice box to its absolute limit and the rest of the band follows suit, with Barrick drumming like a madman and the bass undulating like waves during a tropical storm. "Angela's" only problem is that it's only three minutes and twenty-three seconds in length.

A second highlight comes a few tracks later with "Stranded," a heartbreaking drunken lament. "The words aren't coming through," bawls Leithauser, "I'm stranded and starry-eyed." Remember that song by the Airborne Toxic Event where the guy got drunk and whined because he wanted to bang his ex-girlfriend? The Walkmen took that scenario and made a song that's actually good. It's about being drunk and it SOUNDS drunk, as Barrick barely keeps the thing together with his kick drum. And then there's the horns, horns that add to the barroom sway and evoke images of lonely drunk dudes rejoicing in the fact that they won't be taking any girls home tonight.

The record carries on with the infectious "Woe is Me," vibrant guitar pop that may even provoke some booty shakin', and "Torch Song," the old-timiest Walkmen cut of 'em all. Second to last is "While I Shovel The Snow," a ballad that sounds softer than, well, falling snow. "Half of my life I've been waking up," sings Ham. I feel ya dude.

And like all of the albums before it, this one ends with a slow-burner that goes on for miles. Sporting a six-minute running time and a few horn flareups, "Lisbon" doesn't disappoint and can be placed right next to other satisfying album closers like "Bows and Arrows" and "Another One Goes By."

While not a huge departure from their last album, Lisbon does succeed in maintaining the Walkmen's winning formula. If it ain't broke don't fix it, right?

Daaaauuuuum: LCD Soundsystem

A perfect storm of awesomeness made its way over the Philadelphia area Friday night. Oh God, I sound like a seventh grader starting a personal narrative. Whatever. Anyways, LCD Soundsystem and Sleigh Bells played at the Philadelphia Naval Yard, and to be short it was one of the best nights of live music I've ever experienced. Maybe even the best. The venue was terrific. The initially mysterious Naval Yard was easy to find, there were people and signs everywhere directing traffic, and the parking was free. It was sort of like the Tweeter Center or whatever it's called now minus the lameness. There was a pre-party where free stuff, food, and beer were being given away. This was the beer:

It seems like Narragansett has all the makings of a new "hipster beer." It's watery, comes in pounders, and shares its name with a bay in Rhode Island. Maybe they should change its name to "Veckatimest."

The show took place in what I believe is called the Cruise Terminal, a large warehouse-y building with lots of big windows. I'm not sure what its capacity is, but it seemed like everyone was on top of each other. The sound quality was good though, and that's all that really matters.

Sleigh Bells came on first, and they, um, slayed it. The dude played the riffs and the gal did some crazy dance moves and vocalized. I was kind of disappointed in the crowd for most of the set, but everyone started to come alive near the end. I'm pretty sure they did their entire recorded output.

Shit really started to get insane once LCD came on. It seemed like it couldn't get any more crowded than it was during Sleigh Bells, but it did. It also got about 10x crazier, as the booze started kicking in and joints got fired up. Here's some nutty-ass crap that happened:
1. I fell down during set opener "Dance Yrself Clean" and thought I was going to be trampled to death. Luckily for me I was pulled up by Lizzy. This marks the second time Lizzy has saved my life, as she performed the heimlich maneuver on yours truly in 2004. I was choking on a clam.
2. Some dude fell on the hard floor while crowd surfing. People were passing him around and all of a sudden they got tired of doing so. He fell from about seven feet in the air without anyone breaking his fall. I'm pretty sure he suffered a concussion, but he went right on crowd surfing.
3. LCD played "All My Friends." 'Nuff said.
4. Some UFC bro told me to "EFF OFF" and got in my face because I pushed some sweaty bearded dude his way. This happened while LCD was closing their set with "Home," a lovely song about how home is all we need.

LCD played great, from what I could see. The setlist was perfect, and offered significant helpings of both new and old material. Highlights included not only the previously mentioned "Dance Yrself Clean" and "All My Friends," but also "Get Innocuous!," "Movement," and "Losing My Edge," every music nerd's fav. It seemed like James Murphy was sort of going through the motions with this one, but it was rad nonetheless. James (we're on a first-name basis) had a cool old-looking microphone, I think. Hot Chip member Al Doyle was playing bass. The Asian gal looked sort of miserable. Their light show was spectacular, and they even turned on a huge-ass disco ball for a few songs.

Great venue and music. The people could've been a little less sweaty/out of their minds, but it's okay. Also, people could've DANCED more. Last time I checked, dancing is more than just jumping up and down and pushing/throwin' bows. In fact, that's not dancing at all.

I Don't Get It: UFC

I just saw a commercial for some UFC fight, and am unable to understand the draw of such an event. It seems like it's just two dudes beating the hell out of each other until one of them gives up/is unconscious/is dead. UFC fans would disagree with me on this point, and would defend this activity by highlighting all of the holds and techniques that must be learned to be successful. All I know is that every time I've watched a UFC "fight," this is what happened:

1. The two dudes grabbed each other.
2. They started kneeing each other.
3. They fell on the mat and morphed into a sinewy sphere.
4. They attempted to put each other in "holds," which to me looked like rolling around.
5. One guy ended up on top and punched the other guy in the face until the referee ended this savage exhibition.

I mean, I love the NFL and do watch boxing every now and then, but UFC takes the brutality to a dangerous level. Call me a wimp, but I just can't deal with the sound of a fist making contact with a skull or, even more, the fact that some unfortunate fella will most likely endure years of health problems for a few appearances on Spike TV. I feel as though this "sport" appeals to the carnal side of people, that same section of the brain where the animalistic synapses get fired off. It makes for a strangely sadistic experience in which people want to see someone get beat up and humiliated in public. Even stranger to me is the fact that so many of the individuals who view these testosterone fests are gents who have never been in a fight in their lives. I guess feigning macho-ness by living vicariously through some bulky dude who spends all of his time in a gym is easier than simply admitting that you're not a fighter.

I'm not a fighter.

"There are as many ways to be a man as there are men."
-Dr. Dan O'Neill

A Reason to Not Commit Suicide: Subway

I've been meaning to sing the praises of Subway on here for some time now, as my love for this franchise started while my dad and I were on our roadtrip to South Dakota. It's hard to eat at quality restaurants when you're on the road for three weeks and don't have all the money in the world, and Subway is both a quick and, relatively speaking, healthy alternative to traditional fast food. If you so desired, you could walk into a Subway and walk out having consumed a six inch Turkey Breast Sub, (no mayo of course) a bag of Baked Lays, and a diet soda for lunch. Not exactly the healthiest thing in the world to eat, but you probably won't gain weight eating like this either. Subway, more than any other fast food chain, offers its diners a CHOICE. Sure, you can go in there and eat a low-fat lunch, but you can also order a footlong Subway Club on the whatevercheese bread. No other fast food joint lets its patrons eat this well, and I'm pretty sure this is why Subway (and I looked this up) has more locations than the Golden Arch Crew in the USA. My dad and I certainly observed this while traversing the highways, as we ate at a Subway in many of the states we drove through.

"Nowhere Near"

I was digging through my CDs over the weekend and came across my copy of Yo La Tengo's Painful. Hadn't listened to it in four years. Can't believe I forgot about "Nowhere Near." It's such a gorgeous track, and hearing it out of nowhere (joke intended) was a wonderful experience. I was just listenin' to the album and this song came on and I was like "How did I go four years without hearing this?" The delicate, noisy (pretty sure that's an oxymoron, but you'll understand if you hear the song) guitar near the end is just sublime. And the lyrics: "Everyone is here/but you're nowhere near." Unfulfilled love never sounded so simple or heavenly.

Remember This Song?

Seems like this track is lighting up the last.fm charts right now. Wonder why. Oh, just figured it out-Pitchfork included it on their best songs of the 90s list. I am currently overflowing with joy because Pfork approves of something I loved when I was thirteen. I feel like my love for this song was pure and not based on what some popular indie media source told me to listen to. I also feel like I was "unknowingly cool." It's not just me though, EVERYONE liked this song. I guess this means that everyone is cool. Either that, or during their heyday Len were the great musical uniters. Anyways, the video-love that slowmo. Pretty sure it influenced Wes Anderson's directorial work. Don't really understand the lyrics, though. Pretty sure they're about drugs. And while I like the fact that they're a brother/sister duo, I think it's sort of weird when he puts his arms around her and sort of touches her buzzooms.

I forgot about this one, but I've never stopped liking "Bittersweet Symphony" or "Brimful of Asha," Pitchfork. Thanks for including those on the list.

ARRRRRRGGGGH

Saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. today. So embarrassed. I wanted to see this movie 1. Because I secretly like Michael Cera (disregard my previous post where I was hatin') because he represents me just like Oprah represents powerful black women and Chelsea Handler represents pretty white girls who don't read much. 2. That's it. Went at 2 p.m. to avoid anyone else seeing me there. I even felt ashamed when the little old guy ripped my ticket and asked me what movie I was seeing so he could direct me towards the right auditorium. Saying "Scott Pilgrim" made my soul cringe. Once he told me which one it was in, I was like "OK thanks!" and quickly ran away. I was the only one there until a baby boomer couple walked in as it was starting. They walked out about 2/3 of the way through, when the tenth or so cartoonish fight scene was going down. I guess I was so embarrassed because I fall into one of the three groups of people to which this film (Scott Filmgrim!) appeals:
1. People who actually read the graphic novels on which the movie was based.
2. "Indie" high school students who listen to bands like Phoenix and are taking AP English this year.
3. Emotionally stunted twentysomethings who think there's still such a thing as a "dream girl."

The movie's really good. It's got a solid soundtrack, surprisingly witty dialogue, and quirky video game effects. The fight scenes were a bit much, but whatever.

Couldn't stop thinking about other Scotts during the movie.

Scott Baio vs. the World


Scottie Pippen vs. the World


Scott Toilet Paper vs. the World

Things I'll Never Admit to Liking (Until Now)

1. The Boondock Saints


This is a wonderfully entertaining movie, chock full of quotable lines and engaging action scenes. Y'know who likes it? Horribly annoying individuals, especially politically conservative, "religious" white dudes who smoke lots of weed. Some people like it so much that they type Il Duce's Prayer in the "favorite quotations" field on their Facebook page. Others like it so much that they get Il Duce's Prayer tattooed on themselves. Be careful who you talk to about this movie, folks. They just might think you're an idiot for liking it and not Rushmore.

The Big Lebowski also falls into this category, whether hardcore fans believe it or not.

2. U2

U2 is one of the most commercially successful bands of all time. Many critics (minus Rolling Stone) find them to be superfluous, and many regular people despise them for Bono's silly posturing. Although I'm ashamed to admit it, I love them, and hate when they're placed under the "arena rock" umbrella with the likes of Kings of Leon, Muse, The Killers, etc. Without U2, those bands wouldn't exist. It's hard to explain the virtues of U2 to a non-fan. No matter how hard you try, they'll always tell you that you must be someone who knows nothing about music. Oh well.

3. The Phillies

Liking baseball is a sure sign that you're an average suburban white dude. Either that or you're from somewhere in the Caribbean. I hate to admit that I like the Phillies because I fear that I will be thrown into the massive hoard of bandwagon jumpers who started to pay attention to the Phils after they won the World Series in 2008. Seriously, they're the number one team in town now. You know how I know? Remember a few years ago when you'd go to a Phils game and they'd be losing and fans sitting waaaay up top would do the E-A-G-L-E-S cheer? I was at a game a few weeks ago, the Phils were losing 7-1 in the 3rd inning, and nobody was shouting anything about the Birds. A surefire sign that the Phils are tops in Philly if you ask me. I just really miss the days when they played at the Vet and 700 level tix were $6. They'd only draw 15,000 a game so you could really spread out. I hope they start sucking again.

4. Fast Food

I love fast food, I really do. Obviously it tastes good, but even more than that it might be the least pretentious thing on the planet, and lord knows we need something like it in a world of Lady Gagas and Wes Andersons. I don't like to admit that I love it, mostly because some people can get all Morgan Spurlocky and tell you about how the cattle are raised or how you're going to get fat like the kids pictured above. All in moderation, folks. Eat that Croissan'Wich for breakfast or that Big Mac for lunch or those Chalupas for dinner. Just make sure you only do it once in a blue moon. And sorry cattle, I didn't invent our food production system. I'm aware of the problems. Seriously, I saw Food Inc.

5. Life



I hate to sound similar to one of those religious folks who's all like "every day is a blessing," but they're kind of right. Life ain't so bad. I mean, what do ya got to compare it to? As much as I want to whine about the perils of my extraordinarily difficult existence, I just can't.

The Boondock Saints, U2, The Phillies, Fast Food, and most of all Life. I'm now proud to say that I love them all.

Black People That All White People Know

1. Barack Obama
2. Oprah
3. Tiger Woods
4. Denzel Washington
5. Little Richard
6. James Earl Jones
7. Eminem
8. Shaq
9. James Brown
10. Harriet Tubman
11. Whitney Houston
12. MLK
13. Morgan Freeman
14. Jackie Robinson
15. Will Smith
16. Al Roker
17. Rodney King
18. Precious
19. Antoine Dodson...

NOT FUNNY

This needs to stop. Someone almost got RAPED here. Would YOU find it funny if YOUR sister almost got raped? Didn't think so.

For white people who live in communities that are 99.9 percent white, (and there are lots of 'em) Antoine Dodson, along with Barack Obama, Oprah, Denzel Washington, Lil' Wayne, and Eminem, is now a crucial component of these whites' perception of Black America. I can't imagine how confused they must be.

Maybe I'm underestimating the ability of the inhabitants of whitebread towns to see past the black figures most often featured in the media, and realize that not all black people are these larger than life characters who talk funny.

I don't think I am, though.

People Who Watch Soccer

1. Anyone who isn't American.
2. Average American dudes who played it in high school. If you make it to high school, you'll be a fan for life. If you only played when you were in elementary school, that will not guarantee permanent fandom.
3. Americans who studied abroad for a semester (seems like 2/3 of college students since 2008 or so) and returned with either a Man U, Barcelona, or, if you're one of those people who thought that studying in Western Europe was such a unoriginal thing to do, Galatasaray scarf.
4. Americans who have become disillusioned with the prevailing broness of American pro sports and secretly like when said bros say that soccer is for "pussies." This shows that bros are dumb and they're smart because they "get" soccer. Little do these sports snobs know that soccer is the ultimate bro sport everywhere else in the world.
5. Americans who stumbled across a used copy of Fifa 20__ at FuncoLand/Gamestop/Whatever it's called and were like "Hey, this sport's rad!"
6. Patient Americans who are willing to sit around for two hours because there's a chance something like this could occur:

Which one are you?

He's Still Got That Swagger...And Some Twinkies: Dean Wareham

SOOOOOO blogosphere. It's been a while. And by a while I mean about a year. I've been pretty busy, ya know, livin lyfe. But last night Johnny and I saw something that is worth telling all 2 members of our clubhouse about. We saw the DEAN WAREHAM. I'm going to assume that no one reading this knows who this man is, but at 47, Deaniehead has still got it. I've got to admit, I wasn't exactly pooping my pants over this show, but by the end (staying true to my figurative language) I had diarrhea.

Dean Wareham was the lead singer of a dream pop band that existed from 1987-91 called Galaxie 500. I don't really know what he did for the last 19 years (I'm sure Johnny could fill you in). Now, he is touring with his wife, Brita (like the water filter) and they are playing all songs by Galfivehund. These songs are beautiful. Although I have a hard time distinguishing one from the other at first, each has it's own ear-gasmic guitar line. This is Johnny's favorite... STRANGE.




Dean shared with his audience that this song is about a time he took acid then went into a store. That's cool I guess. But I could have lived without knowing that. I kind of almost do not want to know what a song was ACTUALLY written about. It takes away from whatever the song meant to me. Isn't that the point of music? To take someone's creation and appreciate it in your own way?? Maybe I'm way off... NE wayz, Deanbro talked A LOT about acid. Which I could have done without. On the whole though, Mr. Wareham played a flawless set in my yeuxs. It was beautiful. He is the hottest 47 year old man I know. And I know plenty of 47 year old men. Just strummin his geeytar. Talkin bout pics of you and temps risin. Twas a lovely way to bring this summer to a close. Pop in a Galaxie 500 album (esp Today) on a rainy day. You won't regret it.

Alrighty Boys & Girls. That's all for now. Hopefully, you'll be hearing more from moi soon!

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering (Perfume) Genius

Mike Hadreas records music as Perfume Genius. I'm 99% sure he's gay. I'm 100% sure that gays make the best art because most of them are hurt, alienated, et al. at some point in their lives, and pain is always helpful when it comes to creating stuff. Anyways, his first album, Learning, came out a few months ago and it's wonderfully devastating. It's just him and a piano, and sort of brings to mind other fragile indie rock dudes like Antony Hegarty, Sufjan, and Peter Silberman of the Antlers. Hadreas moans angelically about stuff like kids getting murdered and Mr. Peterson. My favorite though is "You Won't B Here," a particularly dark ditty about how whatever we do, we're gonna be dead anyway. Damn.

If you've never felt depressed in your life, ever, stay away from this. If you have, you may just feel a little less lonely in the world.

A Reason To Not Commit Suicide: The Drums

Man, this is good.

A Reason to Commit Suicide: Michael Cera

I dislike Michael Cera out of pure jealousy. There, I said it. He accurately represents a good percentage of American males age 20-25. We're quirky, awkward, not incredibly attractive, and desperately in love with some gal. So why is it that he gets to be his normal, bumbling self and make millions of dollars? Actors should be able to ACT, not simply be like themselves in every gosh darn movie they're in. Seriously, let me or one of about 10 million other people star in Superbad or Youth In Revolt. I could do it.

*Edit*-Disregard this post. I actually like Michael Cera a lot now after watching Scott Pilgrim and Arrested Development.

A Reason to Commit Suicide: Huge Glasses

This has to be the most annoying fashion trend sweeping the world (or at least the world I inhabit) lately. Millions of attention seekers who may or may not actually need glasses are sporting these huge frames. Why do they feel the need to wear these? Is it the aforementioned attention they're after? Do they want us to think that they're well-read or have good taste in music? Whenever I see someone like this, I just automatically think that they're really dumb and listen to Lady Gaga a lot. It seems logical when you consider the fact that both the framers and Gaga demand you to look at them and admire them on a superficial level.

I realize that some of these folks actually have vision problems. They should get a smaller pair of glasses. For those of you who don't need glasses, however, you're offending me by exaggerating my handicap and making it seem glamorous. Imagine the possibilities here:

"Hey, deafness is pretty cool. Let's wear huge hearing aids!"


"Hey, being a cripple is pretty cool! Let's get a really glam wheelchair!"



"Hey, being dead is pretty cool. Let's be dead!"



Okay, maybe that's taking it too far. But seriously people, be yourselves and not other people's unfortunate circumstances.

The Funniest Video Ever-"Ridin' Solo"

Jason Derulo has produced one of my favorite music videos ever. Cracks me up every time. Here's why:

(0:00)-Just look at this fella before you even start the video. It's astonishing how much of a poor man's Chris Brown he is. I wonder how that feels-Chris Brown beats up Rihanna and now it's like "Here ya go pal. Step up to the plate."

(0:13)-YR LUV MADE ME BLIND DOOOOAOOOOOO

(0:32)-That jacket makes him look like this:



(0:41)-Didn't Drake already "do me?"

(1:03)-Ah, the venerable spin move/ball clutch combo.

(1:38)-Wait, make sure we get the Honda logo.

(1:56)-Why would you check your PlentyOfFish account in a nightclub? Isn't online dating for people who don't get out much?

(2:09)-Really? I thought he was ridin' solo.

(2:33)-I'm very surprised that he didn't give himself whiplash there.

(2:52)-He sort of sounds like Jabba the Hutt when he whispers "Solo."



(3:00)-The choreographer was probably like "Alright, here you're gonna play with imaginary glowsticks."

(3:20)-No way he's doing that. It's a moving platform.

(3:35)-Yeah, definitely a moving platform.

Seriously, this video is the best. Hidden ads, goofy dancing and outfits, and one BIG huckster of a star. Not to mention the fact that he's rarely "ridin' solo" during the video.

The National: High Violet

Alright National, you win.

We're all Afraid of Everyone.

Sorrow found us all when we were young.

This album is actually really good.

Great Jam: "Oh My God"

Cults is a band that has been getting lots of attention from the blogosphere. They came out with their first three songs a few months ago, and "Go Outside" in particular became popular. Madeline Follin has a wonderfully innocent-sounding voice, a voice that goes well with their vintage aesthetic. They really opened things up though with their newest song, "Oh My God," a track that was released as part of the (LOL) Adult Swim Singles Program brought to you by the Kia Soul. Yes folks, effing Cartoon Network and Kia. Dumb TV channels and lousy motorcarriages aside, this song is freakin' rad, and it sounds like they have some unexpected tricks up their sleeve. The track has spacey electronics, heavenly strings, a catchy guitar line, and lyrics about wanting to not be bored. What else couldya ask for? Plz come out with a full-length soon, Cults. Somebody needs to save 2K10.

The World Cup: Top Ten Moments

This is the last time I'll write about the World Cup, I promise. It ended today with Spain beating The Netherlands 1-0, just like that funny octopus predicted. It was a pretty dull match with each side getting only a few quality chances, and most of those were near the end. There were some moments that weren't dull during this Cup however, and that's what I'm making a list of. Here goes:

10. The goals Japan scored vs. Denmark-This group match saw several nice goals. Keisuke Honda (pictured there on the right) scored a gorgeous goal off of a free kick and set up another at the end of the game with some fancy moves. Yasuhito Endo added another with an even nicer free kick, and Japan won 3-1. It was nice to see an underdog Asian side take out a pretty good Danish team.

09. Italy's loss to Slovakia-It's always nice to see a former champion go down in flames the next time out, and that's exactly what happened to the Italians. After lackluster performances against Paraguay and New Zealand, they still had a chance to advance if they beat the Slovaks and Robert Vittek, who's in that pic. That didn't happen, courtesy of a late goal from Slovaksupersub Kamil Kopunek. The Italians almost tied it at the end, but EHHHHHHH 3-2 loss. Watch them win it in 2014 though.

08. Tshabalala's goal vs. Mexico-What a strike this was for the home team! A perfect shot at the perfect time. Too bad S.A. got bombed by Uruguay in their next match.

07. North Korea getting a goal against Brazil-This was mad inspiring. These fellas played their hearts out and lost 2-1 to Brazil, the pre-tournament fav. I don't think they had anything left after this, considering the fact that they lost their other two matches by a combined score of 10-0.

06. The blocked penalties in the Paraguay-Spain match-This Round of 16 match saw heavily favored Spain taking on the tough dudes from Paraguay. It was 0-0 until about the 60th minute or so when Paraguay's Oscar Cardozo got pulled down and was awarded a penalty. As you can see above, Spanish keeper Iker Casillas didn't let it get by him. About a minute later, Spain got a penalty shot and Xabi Alonso put it away. But wait, a Spanish player ran into the area early. Redo. Oh crap, the keeper stopped it! That sucks!

Didn't suck too bad for Spain in the end though, David Villa bailed them out and they won 1-0.

05. Robert Green-"C'mmere ball, c'mmere. Wait, where ya goin'?"

04. Ghezzal's Red Card vs. Slovenia-Abdelkader Ghezzal had his 15 minutes of fame, literally. Dude came in as a sub in the 58th minute of Algeria's first match. He picked up a yellow card for a tough challenge a minute later, and in the 73rd got tossed for a handball. This handball was hilarious, as Ghezzal reached out and touched the ball like a wide receiver attempting to haul in a long pass with one hand. What was he thinking? Maybe that pajamaed Americans like me (The game started at 7:30 a.m.) were laughing at him.

03. Anytime Diego Forlan Touched The Ball-Uruguay's Diego Forlan got the got the Golden Ball for a reason. He scored five goals, and all of them were artistic achievements. This one pictured above is from the 3rd Place Match. A bouncing ball came his way and he blasted it by the German keeper. Even more than the nice goals though, he did something positive with the ball nearly every time he touched it. Players like him are why soccer's known as "The Beautiful Game."

02. The End of the Uruguay-Ghana Match-It seems like fifteen crazy things happened at the end of this match. Let me count:
1. Luis Suarez bats the ball out of his net like he's playing volleyball. Too bad he's not a goalie.
2. Asamoah Gyan puts the penalty off the crossbar just as extra time expired, forcing the game to be decided by a penalty shootout.
3. John Mensah takes the worst penalty of all time. M'man looked like Shaq at the foul line.
4. Maxi Pereira takes the second worst penalty of all time, sending the ball into the Indian Ocean.
5. Sebastian Abreu takes the greatest penalty of all time, winning it for Uruguay in style.

OK, it seemed like fifteen at the time.

01. DONOVAN

Anyone wanna go to Brazil in 2014? I'm down.

What Your Favorite Band Says About You

These have been done before, but I've decided to put my own spin on them. Hopefully some of them are funny.

Animal Collective-I go to art school, I rarely wear shoes, and my parents are loaded.

Belle and Sebastian/Camera Obscura-I'm either a beautiful girl, gay, or a straight dude who's never had a girlfriend.

Bob Dylan-I'm a Social Studies teacher.

Bon Iver-I love it when black dudes play guitar. He's black, right?

Built to Spill-I really liked classic rock growing up but when I went to college I felt that I needed to "break away."

The Clash-I'm a cliche.

Coldplay-I would've liked U2 if I grew up in the 80s.

Dave Matthews-I'm a person who has had to face zero adversity in my life.

The Decemberists-I read lots of fantasy books and still play RPGs.

Feist-See Belle and Seb.

Galaxie 500-I love "Pale Blue Eyes" by The Velvet Underground and no other songs by them.

The Hold Steady-I'm the only indie kid in suburbia.

Kanye West-I'm everyone.

Kid Cudi-I'm not very intelligent so to compensate I wear flashy threads.

The Killers-See Coldplay.

Kings of Leon-"Kid Rock" comes right before "Kings of Leon" on my iPod.

Lady Gaga-I use the word "brilliant" to a nauseating degree while describing her.

The National-I wear thick frames and I'm incredibly boring.

Neon Indian-My fav activities include jumping off cliffs, skateboarding, wearing bright colored tank tops, and having sex.

Pavement-See The Clash.

Pixies-I don't know that much about music but I know that Pixies are untouchable so I'll say I like them.

Radiohead-I'm a lonely dude who just wants to find a gal who appreciates Kid A.

The Replacements-See The Hold Steady.

The Roots-I'm a whiteboy who goes to the city for sporting events and Roots concerts.

Sage Francis-I'm an educated whiteboy and this is the only hip hop I listen to.

Tom Waits-I wear cool hats and vests and read obscure authors in public.

TV on the Radio-I'm a white dude who thinks it would be cool to be the only white dude in a band of black dudes.

Vampire Weekend-I'm the "cool indie gal" in my group of mainstream girlfriends.

Violent Femmes-I'm a compulsive masturbator.

Weezer-I also like to root for losing sports teams.

The Wrens-I'm a 40 year old dude who's had one long term relationship in my life.

I think a few of them might be funny.

5-10-15-20-25

I realize that this is pretty lame, but I feel like doing it anyways. The fact that I am aware of how lame it is makes it OK in my book. This makes me think about people in general, and how I wonder all the time whether or not people realize that the lame things they do are lame. Like do people who go to Dave Matthews concerts realize how lame it is to attend such an event? I feel as though many people live in a dream world, one where they don't realize that some people hate the things they like. Or maybe they're just really secure.

I digress...

If you've read this little website called Pitchfork, you'll know that they do this wittle thing where they interview artists and have them talk about the music they enjoyed at different points in their lives. If you don't read Pitchfork, I applaud you and wish I wasn't an addict. Anyway, here's what I listened to at ages 5, 10, 15, 20, and, er, 24.33.

Age 5-My mom played lots of Raffi songs back in the day, and I can even remember seeing him live. "This Little Light Of Mine" was my favorite song by him. "Baby Beluga" was also pretty rad. I think the first real song I liked though was "Roll With It" by Steve Winwood. I still have the cassette single of that song. I remember the music video where he played the song in a bar or something. I can also remember me and my mom driving in the car and rocking out to "Crocodile Rock" by Elton John. Still like that one. That's about it, I think. I was probably watching TV or running around outside instead of listening to music.

Age 10-I have some pretty clear memories here. It was around this time when I discovered U2, a band I still enjoy today despite the fact that they're pretty lame. I recall rooting through my Dad's box of tapes and seeing a picture of these four fellas in the desert. Seemed interesting. Turned out it was, and I listened to it A LOT. My favorite songs on it were/still are the ones on the B-side. "Red Hill Mining Town," "In God's Country," "Trip Through Your Wires," and "One Tree Hill." I always stopped it after "One Tree Hill," because the last two songs scared the crap out of me. "Exit" is about killing yourself and "Mothers of the Disappeared" sounded creepy. It wasn't until I was about 16 or so that I actually listened to the full album. Weird. Soon after The Joshua Tree it was Achtung Baby and then War. Love those ones too. Aside from U2, I liked many of the songs that they played on the now defunct Y-100. They played stuff like The Offspring, ("Self-Esteem!") Green Day, The Presidents of the U.S.A. ("Lump!") and Nirvana. Nirvana was weird for me because I was brought up Catholic and they had that video where they had fetuses and priests and all of these scary images. I didn't and still don't like them, and I don't really like the Catholic Church that much anymore either. Lastly, I remember sitting upstairs with my Dad listening to his old records. People always thought it was strange that the Wawrzyniaks had a record player, and I can even recall a few people coming over to play their records on our player because they didn't have one. I guess this is why I think it's silly that many people my age are obsessed with vinyl. It was something I always had, and maybe they didn't. Or maybe they did and they just really like vinyl. Anywho, Pops had stuff by dudes like Frank Zappa, The Band, Dire Straits, and John Prine. My fav of these was John Prine, and I really liked his song "Christmas in Prison." Frank Zappa scared me and I have a very vivid memory of my family on a car trip and my mom was telling my dad to turn off "The Torture Never Stops" and my Dad wouldn't do it. LOL. We also listened to Neil Young on car trips, and I really liked Freedom and Ragged Glory, especially the song "Farmer John."

Wait, one more. I liked Hootie and the Blowfish. Cracked Rear View.

"OnlyWannaBWitchuuuuuooouuuuuu."

Age 15-This would be freshman/sophomore year of high school, about 2001 or so. I was listening to cassettes until this point, and I think it was around this time that I got my first CD Walkman. I was pretty behind in many, many ways. Back to music though. Moby. F*****g Moby. I loved/still love his album Play. Every song. I remember seeing the "South Side" vid on MTV and being like "Yeah, you go bro. Go and date Gwen Stefani." My favorite songs on that album were/still are "Bodyrock" and "My Weakness." "Bodyrock" is such a sweet song, and I couldn't get enough of the guitar riff. "My Weakness" is just some sample of people chanting, but it's still great. Later I would be disappointed by 18, which I think came out in 2002. After that I bought Everything is Wrong. That album's pretty good, but the facts about how much the world sucks are a little much. U2 was still big for me at this time. They came out with All That You Can't Leave Behind, and I straight ate that album up. "Beautiful Day." 'Nuff said. And "Walk On." God, I used to listen to that song when I got bullied at school. It made me feel better. "Whatcha got they can't steal it, no they can't even feel it." So fucking good. I'm not even gonna sensor myself. One last thing for age 15. Michael Jackson. Don't know why, but I became obsessed with MJ. Bad, Dangerous, and Invincible, which was incredibly underrated. I think that's my fav one by him. Later I would come to appreciate Off The Wall, but I must admit that I've never actually listened to Thriller. I think I'm gonna change that in the near future.

Seems like I had pretty poor taste, something I'll attribute to several factors.
1. I didn't have any older sibs or any other cool older kids to introduce me to anything different.
2. Most of the kids in my high school were into Limp Bizkit, teen pop, or mainstream rap. I didn't like any of that stuff.
3. We didn't have the internet, and, once we got it, I'd use it to read stuff about U2 or Moby.
4. I was in the little dream world I described earlier. Nobody told me my music sucked, and if they did it was someone who liked Limp Bizkit so I simply ignored them.

Age 20-This was sophomore/junior year of college. By this time I was listening to what I would consider to be "pretty good music." When I was 18 and came to college all I really knew was U2, Moby, Coldplay, and Neil Young, a guy I had known about for years from my Dad but didn't get into until my last year of high school. My freshman year roomate was the one and only Andy Blaufarb, a dude who was really into metal and thought my music sucked. This was the first time someone other than a Limp Bizkit fan told me my music sucked, and, as a result, I started to really go on the interwebz and find new bands to like. I'd log onto the 'book and see what the cool kids (at least I thought they were cool kids) were listening to. Turns out most of them listened to crappy hardcore. This was also when my perception of a "cool kid" changed dramatically. My favorite way to find good bands to listen to was to simply type in something like "best albums of _____" on Google and go from there. Naturally this led me to Radiohead, the fav band of any music critic. The Bends was the first album by them that I heard. I guess this was like November of soph. year. I remember going into convulsions while listening to the title track. Soooo good. Then I got OK Computer and it was true love. I felt like I was ten and listening to The Joshua Tree. It was also then that I discovered the genius of Weezer's debut album for the first time. I would later learn that many people were obsessed with this one when they were fifteen, but that was OK. Better late than never. It was also around 20 when I began to comprehend the meaning of "indie rock," and I started to pay attention to record labels and what they stood for. I guess the first "indie rock" band (although I wouldn't call them that anymore) I got into was Spoon. I came across Gimme Fiction after I Googled "Best Albums of 2005" and clicked on Amazon's list. Also on that list were Z by My Morning Jacket and I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning by Bright Eyes. I loved both of those albums. From there, I developed a good sense of what was good vs. what was bad, and started listening to bands like Wilco, Built to Spill, The New Pornographers, Bloc Party et. al. I would also go back and listen to some older albums. I'd go to CD Warehouse and buy a newer CD and an older one each time I went. Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville was one I was really into at age 20. I thought she was pretty badass, and enjoyed hearing her perspective on dudes. And I can't forget about Pixies. I was rocking Doolittle a lot. "Debaser" is still one of my fav jams.

Age 24.33-I like to think I'm a pretty well-informed music fan these days. I read Pitchfork, Stereogum, Gorilla Vs. Bear, and other blogz. I watch all of the MTV networks and listen to the pop station on the radio sometimes to keep up on the mainstream tunes. I'll even listen to WXPN to see if there's any cool new Dad music. They also have a great show on Saturdays at 5 p.m., "The Many Moods of Ben Vaughn." Dude really knows his stuff and plays some nice old jauns.

I won't talk about what I've been listening to lately because it's all on my last.fm. Check that for up to the minute stats. I'm pretty deep into music, but not that deep. I know what Krautrock is, but I've only listened to Can and Neu!. Not a fan of either. I've only smoked weed once, so I'm pretty sure I'll never "get" noisy bands like Boredoms or any Post-Rock . That said, I do love the Explosions in the Sky album Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell The Truth Shall Live Forever. I like The Modern Lovers, but I've never listened to any of Jonathan Richman's solo stuff. I've only listened to one Sonic Youth album, Daydream Nation, and I didn't really "get" it because I was only 20. I always hear about how great Nick Cave is, but I've never listened to him. Joy Division goes waaaay over my head and I'm intimidated by people who "get" them. I think there might be something wrong with me because I don't "get" them. Wire as well. Tried listening to Pink Flag. Didn't "get it." I guess I'm just not a punk. Or even a post-punk. Daft Punk. I love Homework. I guess that's what I am.

A Daft Punk.

Pce, this has been fun. I'll update when I'm 30.

Passion Pit: *Sigh*

O, Passion Pit! What have you done with yourselves? Your falsettoly, electronic blippy selves? You were one of my favorite bands last year. Manners and Chunk of Change were wonderful releases. The time I saw you last August at the Unitarian Church was one of the best times I've ever had, evah. I made the fatal error of buying tickets to see you at the Mannly Center 1.5 weeks ago. I couldn't resist. I saw "Passion Pit at the Mannly Center" and it was CLICK-BUY before I could even think. And then, almost instantly, I thought. There was no way this show was going to be as good as last year. Why? Because it was at a larger venue and you are not as relevant as you were a year ago when your album came out. How would your show be different this time? Would you have new material? Would the crowd be THAT much bigger? Most importantly, would it be a sweaty dance orgy? I really wanted it to be an orgy.

From the moment I exited my motorcarriage, I knew it would be different. There were people tailgating. I mean real tailgating, people with lawn games and grills. Now don't get me wrong, I love lawn games and grills. I just love them at Phillies games and in my backyard and at the beach, not at a Passion Pit concert. As we walked into the Mannly Center, I was instantly reminded of Epcot, a far cry from the basement which housed your performance the last time you were in Philadelphia. There were stands that sold beer for $9 dollars. I would have been drunk for $9 dollars if you had played at the Church. The worst part of it all, though-ASSIGNED SEATS. How could you tolerate such a thing? As I previously stated, your music is enjoyed best when there is a sweaty dance orgy taking place. It's very difficult for me to pull off my whiteboy dance moves when I have to worry about stumbling and falling onto the concertgoers below.

Once you came on the stage, all of this would be erased, right? It would be like last summer, right? EHHHHH. It wasn't. There wasn't an orgy. People were just yelling for "Sleepyhead." EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh wait, you did play a new song though. Cool. Oh wait, nope, that was a Cranberries song.

Seriously fellas, you sort of lost a fan here. I realize it was me who made the mistake by buying the tickets. I should've been more careful. But you should've been more carefuller too. Why would you let your people book a venue like that? Are you really an outdoor, seated venue band? The Electric Factory or TLA would've been a better choice.

I hope you guys pull an MGMT and make your second album a weirdo one.

Oh, and one more thing. Angelakos, remember between songs when someone offered you $20 to sing "Your Love Is My Drug?" And you were like "You'd have to pay me top dollar for that." Didn't you guys remix the new Katy Perry song? You act like you're too cool for Ke$ha but not for Katy Perry? Huh?

Huh?

MGMT: Congratulations

It was the damn cover art that made me pick up MGMT's new album Congratulations today. Looks like something straight outta Sonic Two. MGMT are in an odd place, just like the Tails lookalike on the cover. They started out as an indie band, went mainstream, and have sort of retreated into weirdo-land with this album. I'll never forget the first time I heard them. I was at CD Warehouse in 2007, "Time to Pretend" was playing, and I wanted to start a conversation with the cool retro pinup gal who was hustlin' CDs. I was like "Who is this?" and she was like "It's this band called MGMT." I really hate when people insert the word "called" while saying a band's name. Seriously, she could have just said "It's MGMT." Anyway, I thought the song was pretty rad at the time. And then I heard it 100 times. And then Radio 104.5 spun it on the hour. And then "Electric Feel" and "Kids" came out as singles and, before ya knew it, fratboys were reaching between the Kings of Leon and Muse albums at Target to purchase Oracular Spectacular. I could never get into this album, mostly because they played the shit out of the best songs on the radio. Kind of like how I've never listened to a full album by Nirvana or Led Zeppelin. Thank you 93.3 WMMR and 102.9 MGK, the stations I turned my dial to during my formative years. Anyway, their new album is surprisingly good. It sounds all pastoral folky and psychadelicious. Andrew VanWhateverHisNameIs sings like Arthur Lee from this band called Love (See how f*****g annoying it is?!) and the music is very soft and breezy, making for a very nice summertime listen if I do say so myself. I think they have lots of balls for making an album like this. It's almost like they realize that fratboys are lame, so they made an album that is fratboy un-friendly. Ain't no hit on this jaun. And then folks like me can go to Main St. Music and buy the copies they sold back for $6.99. Superb! They're also really ballsy because they refused to play "Kids" at Coachella, an act that pissed off many of their fans. Do their fans realize that that song actually came out like five years ago? They could be tired of playing it. Just sayin'.

I guess I like them now.

My Opinion: Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga is like all great poptarts-ubiquitous and polarizing. I have no problem with her sexed up image and the fact that she toes the lines of censorship. We always need entertainers who push the envelope, lest we allow ourselves to be overcome by the Michael Bubles of the world. My problem with Lady Gaga isn't her image at all-it's with her music. She's challenging and it isn't. Her latest single "Alejandro" sounds exactly like "Don't Turn Around" by Ace of Base. Heck, most of The Fame Monster is straight up bubblegum pop devoid of any lyrical depth. Now I know what you're thinking. "She's a pop star. Her music should be accessible." My response to that is that her style isn't. She's often seen wearing unconventional outfits, so where's the unconventional music? It's like she wants to shock the world, but only on a surface level. "OOH look how different I am! Don't be too scared though, my music isn't so strange." Here's hoping that the tunes on her next LP are as creative as she thinks she is. Until then, I'm writing her off as being a pseudo-weirdo.

And I'll never discuss her again, because that's exactly what she wants.

*Yawn*: High Violet

I usually try to silence the hate around here, but once in a blue moon I think it's OK to take something behind the woodshed, especially when that something is an album that everyone seems to like. High Violet is the new album by The National, and while I don't think it's horrible, I fail to see what all the (blood) buzz is about. Matt Berninger's voice is good enough and the music is decent, but is it really the album of the year like some critics have made it out to be? How did this debut at number three on the billboard chart? Does it really have mass appeal? The lyrics are VERY depressing. Are this many people depressed? Just look at the titles of the first few songs: "Terrible Love." Hmm. "Sorrow." Hmmmmmm. "Anyone's Ghost." Not so bad. "Little Faith." Uh oh, we're back to that again. "Afraid of Everyone." Sweet Lord. The imagery is often disturbing, as Berninger moans about spiders, zombies, and brain eating. He also talks about drugs on several occasions. Should we have him committed? It seems like m'man is making a career out of taking his deepest personal problems and sharing them with the world. He claims in interviews that the songs aren't meant to be as sad as they sound, but I'm calling bullshit here. They wouldn't make sad songs if they weren't sad, would they? Or maybe they would. Maybe they fabricated their own sadness. If that's the case, I HATE The National.

Seriously, you're better than this, unless of course you're a masochist and like to listen to tunes that you know will make you sad. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having an emotional catharsis through listening to music. But that music needs to have some sort of upside, an "I'm down but not out" sort of notion if you will. High Violet is all down, musically and lyrically.

World Cup 2010: Final Predictions

Time to make my final predictions. I went 6/8 in the round of 16.

Uruguay vs. Ghana-Tough call here. Both sides can play defense and are very physical. I think it will be low scoring and come down to penalties. Uruguay wins.

Netherlands vs. Brazil-The Netherlands have a great team, but gave up some golden opportunities against Slovakia. Luckily for them, Slovakia lacked the talent up front to turn those chances into goals. Brazil has the talent, and will win 3-1.

Argentina vs. Germany-Lots of goals here. I think Messi will lead Argentina to a 4-3 triumph.

Paraguay vs. Spain-Nice run Paraguay, but physical play can only get you so far. Spain will dominate possession and win 3-0.

That will set up...

Uruguay vs. Brazil-C'mon, really? Brazil by two goals.

Argentina vs. Spain-This will be a close match. Argentina wins in penalties.

3rd Place

Uruguay vs. Spain-C'mon, really? Spain by two goals.

The Championship Match

Brazil vs. Argentina-Legendary stuff here. Two immensely talented sides battling it out on the pitch for the right to hoist the Cup. I hope this match happens, and, given how the South American squads ran shit in this World Cup, it will. Fabiano will get an early goal to put Brazil up 1-0. He will be offside. Robinho will get a second right before the half, sprinting down the field on a classic Brazilian counterattack. Argentina will get two in the second half, both from Messi. The second will be from distance and will shock everyone. Both teams will manage to score in extra time, making it 3-3. Now we're at penalties. Messi will put his just wide, and Brazil will win 5-4.

Then Maradona will rub his head.